


Everything's Not Lost

by irishstone



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, First Time, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-12 16:20:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2116551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishstone/pseuds/irishstone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>first chapter isn't explicit... it's probably like... PG. Drop me a line, let me know what you think! Feedback is appreciated.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Strangeness and Charm

**Author's Note:**

> first chapter isn't explicit... it's probably like... PG. Drop me a line, let me know what you think! Feedback is appreciated.

Liam looked a few aisles over at the quiet checker with dark hair and tattoos peeking up from the collar of his shirt. He was so mysterious, always on time and always leaving right after his shift ended by getting into the same car that was always waiting for him. Zayn was extremely nice to everyone but stayed quiet unless you spoke directly to him, and he never talked about his personal life. He would politely decline any invitation to do something after work with a group of other employees when they all worked the closing shift. Liam was jolted out of his own little world of questions when a young teenager snapped her fingers in front of his face.

“I’m waiting for you to ring up my items so I can pay,” the girl said.

“I’m sorry,” Liam apologized sarcastically, annoyed by her attitude. 

“You better be,” the girl snapped back at him. She dug through her over-sized-for-her-body purse and pulled out a stack of coupons.

Liam looked at the stack of coupons in her hand and sighed. He hated people like her, the ones that thought they would be the next star of Extreme Couponing. Liam stuck his hand out and waited for the girl to hand the coupons to him. When she handed the coupons to him he sorted through them to find the products she had actually purchased before returning the rest of the stack to her.

“Expired, expired, our deal is actually better than this coupon, expired, you picked the wrong brand up this is actually for a brand we don’t carry, and expired.” Liam handed the coupons back to her and smiled, some small justice at least. The girl made a face at Liam that he didn’t know was possible for any human being to make. “Your total is $19.93.” The girl quickly paid and grabbed her bags before leaving the store in a hurry.

The store was empty except for Liam, Zayn, a manager, and another employee who was sweeping the aisles before closing. Liam was cleaning his area up, throwing away trash and expired papers when headlights from a car shone through the windows at him. He looked up and recognized the car as Zayn’s “chauffer” -- for lack of a better word.

“Zayn your ride is here,” Liam said as he looked over at Zayn who was cleaning his area up as well.

“Thanks mate,” Zayn pulled the drawer out of his register and shut off the light on his lane. He disappeared to the manager’s office and came back out a few minutes later shrugging his jacket on and balling his work apron up in his hands. “See ya Liam,” Zayn nodded.

“Have a good night,” Liam smiled as Zayn passed. He watched Zayn until he got into the car and it drove out of the parking lot and into the night. The manager walked out of the office and locked the front doors before shutting the open light off and coming to Liam’s register.

“Give me your drawer and stay away,” the manager said as he raised an eyebrow at Liam.

“What?” Liam said, snapped out of his thoughts about Zayn for the second time that night, handing the drawer to the manager and shutting his light off. 

“Keep away from Zayn.”

“Why?” Liam asked as he took his apron off and threw it over the counter by his register before following the manager to the back office.

“He doesn’t need a bad influence like you in his life Liam.”

“I am not a bad influence. Besides, he’s the one with all the tattoos. I only have one!”

The manager stopped and looked at Liam as he opened the door to the office.

“Okay, fine I have more than one. But, Zayn has more than I do.”

“No Liam, final word.” The door between himself and the manager shut.

“Fine,” Liam let his head thunk against the door before returning to the front of the store to grab his apron and leave for the night. Liam said goodbye to the other employee and got in his car. He thought about Zayn one last time as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed home. So mysterious.

\---

Zayn got out of the car and said goodbye before closing the door and heading into the high rise condominium complex. When the doorman opened the door for him Zayn smiled and headed up the flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator. When he got to his floor he walked to his next door neighbors’ apartment and knocked on their door. He leaned against the door frame as he waited for them to answer. Finally the curly brown haired boy answered the door and smiled at Zayn.

“Home for the night then?” the boy asked.

“Yeah I am, just checking in,” Zayn smiled. “Tell Louis I said ‘night for me yeah?”

“Of course. Goodnight Zayn,” the boy leaned through the doorway and gave Zayn a quick hug.

“’Night Harry. Thanks,” Zayn smiled and headed back to his apartment. Zayn opened the apartment door and he stepped in, he gave Harry a quick wave and the door to Harry and Louis’ apartment shut. He smiled as he closed his apartment door as well. He dropped his keys into the bowl by the front door sitting on a dark wooden side table. He hung his jacket up on the hooks by the entrance to his bedroom before heading into the small living room.

Zayn flipped the light switch on the wall and looked around the living room and kitchen area. The walls were light gray color accented with gray molding around the ceiling and floor. All the furniture matched the side table by his front door in dark wood. He walked over and picked up the phone off the table to call his mother. She answered on the second ring.

“I’m home and I let Harry and Lou know I was home,” Zayn said as he kicked his shoes off and wandered to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. When he opened the fridge it was filled with juices, fruit, vegetables, other essentials and a half empty case of water.

“Thank you, how was work?” his mother asked.

“It was alright,” Zayn sighed.

“Okay, well. I’m glad you’re home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” his mother said. Zayn could hear the strained smile in her voice.

“Goodnight mom.” Zayn said.

“Goodnight love.”

Zayn headed into his bedroom, stripped down to his boxers and flopped down in bed before quickly passing out. 

\---

There was a loud knock on the bedroom door and Liam jolted awake before looking at his phone to check the time. He would be late for class if he didn’t hurry. A voice yelled from the other side of the door.

“Get up Liam, you’re going to be late for school.”

“I know! I just saw that.” Liam told his dad as he bolted from his bedroom to the bathroom and into the shower in one fluid motion that didn’t seem humanly possible.

Liam showered and threw on clean clothes from the pile lying on his bedroom floor he hadn’t hung up yet and grabbed a snapback hat from his collection hanging on the wall. He checked the backseat of his car to make sure his backpack was in the car and he climbed into the front seat before driving to school. He parked, put the parking pass in the window and ran up the stairs to the college of music. He stepped into the classroom just as the professor was calling his name for attendance.

“Here, professor.” Liam smiled and raised a hand in greeting as he took the closest seat to him and set his backpack down.

“I’m glad you could join us Mr. Payne. Pressing matters to be attended to this morning I suspect?” the professor asked, putting her clipboard behind her back and staring up at Liam as her ponytail swished behind her. 

“Only your class, ma’am.” Liam smiled. The professor stared at him and Liam’s smile grew. 

“Try harder to be on time Mr. Payne, I’m not going to let it slide anymore. Also, see me after class. We need to discuss your final project.” the professor said as she pulled the clipboard back in front of her and continued taking attendance.

Liam sighed, his final semester and his final project. He liked this professor but she was harder on him than any other professor he had throughout his college career. She was his advisor on his final project for his degree in music technology. He had been blowing the conversation with her off for as long as possible but now he was running out of time.

After class he slowly walked down the steps toward the professor’s desk as students were walking up the steps leaving the class. A few of the students said hi to Liam as they passed him as well as a few fist bumps and handshakes on their way out.

“Mr. Payne. You’re behind… by a lot,” the professor said as she raised an eyebrow at Liam. She pulled out a piece of paper that had a checklist on it and Liam sighed, it was the progress sheet.

Liam slumped down in a chair and thunked his head on the desk. “I know.”

“What’s the problem?” 

“Uninspired. I feel stuck.”

The professor walked around and stood in front of her desk with her arms crossed in front of her as she leaned back against it. “Get unstuck.”

“I’m trying, but this deadline has me all tense. I’ve been working a lot too so that I can pay my bills and start paying on my student loan. I haven’t really had time to find inspiration.”

“You’re so close to being done Liam. How much do you have done?”

“I have most of the tracks done. I don’t have my Conduction track recorded yet because I haven’t had my performance. I don’t have the artwork done because I’ve been trying to find an art student to do collaboration with.”

“A collaboration for the artwork? That sounds amazing Liam. I like that a lot. You can use it for your final project and they can use it for their portfolio. Have you found someone yet?”

“No, I haven’t gone to the art studios to see if any students were there.”

“Go look at the gallery exhibit and see if there are any artists whose work you like and see if they’d be willing to work with you.”

“Thank you professor. I’ll definitely look into the exhibit.”

“Alright Liam, the Conduction track can be forgiven, but you need to get on the artwork and the rest of these tracks. I want a new track from you next week. By the end of class next week I want you to give me a track so I have proof you’re making progress.”

Liam sighed and looked at her with puppy dog eyes. “Next week?”

The professor laughed and smiled back at him. “You’re such a charmer but it won’t work. If I don’t get you going on your project I get in trouble too. So Mr. Payne, next week. One track, got it?”

“Got it professor,” Liam smiled and left the classroom. 

\---

“Hey Liam, can I get your help for a minute?” Zayn called across from his lane.

Liam looked up and saw Zayn standing back from the register away from the customers he was checking out. Liam nodded but creased his eyebrows together, shut off the light on his lane, and locked his register before walking over to help Zayn.

“What’s up?” Liam asked as he looked at Zayn standing uncomfortably back from the register.

“Can you finish ringing them up for me?” Zayn asked.

“Uh… yeah, I guess,” Liam raised an eyebrow at Zayn and scanned the rest of the groceries for the customers while Zayn stood behind Liam and watched him. “Everything okay?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, everything is fine. Thank you so much Liam.” Zayn stepped back up to the register and started ringing up the next customer. 

“Sure thing,” Liam smiled awkwardly and walked back to his register and flipped the light back on.

A few minutes later the manager walked out of the back office and up to Zayn before saying something to him quietly. Zayn’s eyes closed and his shoulders slumped, closing in on himself. The manager walked back to his office and Liam looked at Zayn again.

“Hey, Zayn, are you okay?” Liam asked. Zayn jumped and looked at Liam. “Are you okay? Do you need something?” Liam’s line was empty so he shut off the light and locked his register before walking over to stand next to Zayn and bag groceries for the customers. 

“I’m alright. My ride can’t come pick me up tonight. I need to make a phone call to see if I can get one of my neighbors to pick me up.”

“I can give you a ride home, it’s not a problem.” Liam put the last of the bags in the customer’s cart and smiled as they left the store. It was closing time and the store was empty except for the four usual employees.

“Can I borrow your phone?” Zayn asked instead.

“Yeah, sure.” Liam dug in his pocket and handed him his cell phone.

“Thanks,” Zayn dialed a phone number and waited for someone to answer. Zayn switched back and forth between feet as he waited. “Damn it,” he mumbled and began dialing another number. Once again he waited, “Hey, Louis. I tried to call Harry but he didn’t answer. Can you come pick me up from work? He couldn’t make it today so I have no way of getting home.”

Liam opened his mouth to offer to give him a ride home again but Zayn turned his back to him. Liam nodded and stepped back.

“Oh…” Zayn said sounding defeated. “Well, one of my coworkers offered me a ride home so I guess I’ll see if he can still take me.” Zayn turned around to face Liam. “Yes, that’s whose phone I’m using. I’ll let you know what’s up." Zayn nodded. "I’ll talk to you soon. Bye Lou.” Zayn hung up.

“Yes, of course.” Liam said, already knowing the question was coming.

“Are you sure?” Zayn asked, biting his lip in uncertainty.

“Yeah, absolutely. Call your friend back and let him know I’ll drop you off.”

“Thank you Liam,” Zayn gave a small smile and called Louis back. “I’ll be home pretty quick. I’ll see you when I get home or I’ll call from home to let you know.” Zayn nodded “It’s alright Lou. I’ll see you in a bit. Bye.”

“Let’s lock up and I’ll take you home,” Liam said as he clapped Zayn on the shoulder.

They locked their registers down, shut the lane lights off and took their cash drawers to the manager’s office. They didn’t really say anything to each other besides Zayn’s constant thank yous. 

They walked to Liam’s car with Zayn awkwardly a few steps behind. Liam unlocked the door to his car and leaned over the passenger seat to unlock the door for Zayn. Liam grabbed his backpack off the passenger seat and threw it into the back seat with a thud and a crack that made Liam cringe and hope it wasn’t an important CD. Zayn sat down and gave a small laugh at the face Liam made. Liam turned to look at Zayn in shock.

“Are you laughing at me?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, sorry. The face you made was just funny,” Zayn said getting quiet again.

“Don’t apologize,” Liam smiled, “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you laugh. I like it.”

Zayn shifted in his seat and smiled. “Thanks, I guess.”

Liam started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Zayn looked over at Liam and started to say something but decided against it and looked forward through the windshield. Liam looked at Zayn and half smiled thinking about him laughing.

“Where am I going?” Liam asked when he realized he was automatically driving to his house instead of taking Zayn home.

“Oh, right. It’s on East 5th Street. The condominium complex on the right had side of the road. Do you know where it is?” Zayn asked.

“Those are really nice condos. You must have a lot of money if you’re living there. Why do you work at the supermarket if you have money?” Liam could see Zayn tense up.

“I don’t have money. I uh… my mother has money,” Zayn said and then he turned to face the window. Liam knew that was going to be the end of their conversation for the rest of the night. Liam pulled up outside the condominiums and looked out the windshield as he craned his head to try to see the top of the building.

Zayn started to get out of the car and then stopped. He turned to face Liam and hesitated. “Liam, I just wanted to say something before I leave.” Liam turned toward Zayn and Zayn continued. “I know that I probably come off as a snob or an asshole, and living here I’m sure only leans your opinion more in that direction, but I just wanted you to know that I’m not a snob or an asshole. There are other things that I am going through and dealing with that I don’t want to drag other people into. I try to keep my personal life separate from my work life but I really appreciate your help today and I really appreciate you giving me a ride home.”

“Zayn… don’t worry about it. It’s fine. I understand your need for privacy and wanting to keep work and personal life separate. However, if you need help at all just ask alright?”

Zayn smiled and nodded. “Thanks Liam.”

“Night Zayn.”

“Night Liam.” 

\---

Zayn closed the door to Liam’s car and waited until Liam pulled away before he walked toward the door where the doorman opened the door for him and nodded in greeting. Zayn walked up the stairs instead of taking the elevator and he knocked on Harry and Louis' door to let them know he was home. Louis opened the door and smiled at Zayn before hugging him and pulling him into the apartment.

“How’d you get home?” Louis asked.

“Guy I work with, Liam, he offered me a ride when he saw that my ‘usual car’ wasn’t there to pick me up.” Zayn said as he flopped down on the couch. Louis flopped down on the couch and laid his legs across Zayn’s lap and who automatically draped his arm across Louis’ legs like normal. Being around Louis and Harry made Zayn comfortable. “Where is Harry that you don’t have the car?”

“He went to the bakery to check on some things because one of the employees called and said she couldn’t remember if she had turned the ovens off.”

“Danielle?” Zayn laughed.

“Danielle,” Louis smiled.

The front door opened and Zayn looked to see Harry coming in the door as Louis leaned his head upside down over the arm of the couch to see the front door. Harry smiled when he saw both of them as he shoved his keys in his pocket.

“Hello my loves,” Harry said as he walked over to give Louis a quick kiss on the lips and Zayn a kiss on the top of his head. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come get you Zayn, I feel so bad!”

“It’s okay, I’m home now,” Zayn smiled.

“How did you get home?” Harry asked as he kicked off his shoes and flopped down in an arm chair next to the couch.

“Guy from work gave me a ride home.”

“Ah,” Harry nodded. “What a good friend.”

“I feel kind of stupid for letting him give me a ride home though.”

“It wasn’t stupid Zayn, you needed a ride home and he gave you a ride home,” Louis reasoned.

“Zayn, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Harry said.

“I freaked out because I had a customer come through today buying alcohol. I had to have Liam come ring them up for me.”

Louis took his cell phone out of his pocket and handed it to Zayn. “Call your mom and tell her you’re staying here tonight. You can stay in the guest bedroom.”

Zayn shook his head. “Guys it’s step 10, this is what I’m supposed to do.” Zayn turned the phone over in his hand before Louis grabbed it from him and dialed the number for Zayn’s mom.

“Hi Patricia it’s Louis.” Louis held the phone away from his ear for a second before bringing it back “Zayn’s fine, he had a rough day though so he’s going to stay the night at ours so we can keep an eye on him.” Louis nodded. “Nope, no problems just a rough day. We’ll take care of him I promise Mrs. Malik” Louis smiled. “You too, goodnight.” 

“There, settled. You’re staying the night,” Harry said.

“What did my mom say?” Zayn asked, his knuckles white.

“She was worried about you,” Louis answered.

“She thought I relapsed,” Zayn said as his eyes began to water.

“No, Zayn not at all,” Louis sat up and moved to Zayn’s side with one arm wrapped around his shoulder and the other across his chest as Zayn began to cry. “She’s just worried about you.” Louis looked at Harry and Harry knew that Zayn’s mom thought he had relapsed.

“Shit,” Harry muttered.


	2. Unexpected Hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, drop me a line and let me know what you think! Feedback is appreciated!

Zayn sat at the table nervously tapping the coffee cup with his fingers while waiting. He looked up at the clock and sighed, it had only been 5 minutes since the last time he checked the clock. The door to the coffee shop opened and he turned to see his blond haired savior walk in. He raised his hand and waived Niall over to the table. Niall, his usual bouncy self, pulled the chair next to Zayn out and plopped down with his smile bright as ever.

“Hello Zayn!” Niall grabbed the cup from Zayn and took a sip. “No mate, that’s disgusting.” Niall stuck his tongue out and tried to get the taste of coffee out of his mouth. “How can you drink that?”

“Just can I suppose?” Zayn couldn’t help but smile at Niall, but he remembered why he was here and his smile faded away. “Um… I had some problems yesterday. And it made it worse when you didn’t come to pick me up.”

Niall’s smile dropped a bit and he became concerned. “Zayn, I’m sorry that I couldn’t pick you up last night. It was an emergency and I had to watch Theo. “

“No no, it’s okay Niall, I understand that you have your own life and you have other things going on. I try not to be a burden to you.”

“Did you relapse?” Niall asked, staring at him intensely. 

“No,” Zayn sighed. He knew that it was Niall’s job as his sponsor to keep him accountable, but he had been tired of people asking if he had relapsed after the first time someone asked. “I had a minute at work where someone came through my line that was buying alcohol, but I had to step away and ask this guy I work with to come finish ringing them up.”

“That’s a smart move. So what’s wrong?” Niall asked, absentmindedly taking another drink of Zayn’s coffee before making another face at the taste.

“You couldn’t pick me up, I called Harry and Louis to see if they could pick me up but Harry had the car because of a work emergency, so one of the guy’s I work with – the same guy actually – had to give me a ride home.” 

“So, did something happen?” Niall asked, trying to put the pieces together.

“No, nothing happened. He just took me straight home, but what if something did happen? What if he smoked, or drank? What if he had beer in the backseat?” 

“Zayn, you’re allowed to be around this stuff, you’re not going to be able to hide from it forever. You still have to lead a normal life. Don’t go looking for it, avoid it if you can, but don’t stop living because you’re afraid you’ll be tempted.”

“I guess you’re right. But I just kept thinking about step 10 and how you’re supposed to admit when you’re wrong.”

“Zayn, step 10 only matters when you’ve done something. You haven’t done anything wrong. You made a smart decision by trying to contact people you trust before someone you know casually.” Niall smiled and patted Zayn on the back. “I’m proud of you.”

“How did you get so wise?” Zayn laughed, clearly more at ease.

“I was born Irish.” Niall joked.

“That doesn’t have anything to do with intelligence.” Zayn laughed louder and shook his head. “Niall…”

“Yeah mate?” Niall focused on Zayn’s face.

“Thank you for being my sponsor. I don’t think I could have done it with anyone else.”

“Yeah you could have, you’re stronger than you think. But, you’re welcome.” Niall smiled and took another drink of Zayn’s coffee without realizing it. “Jesus… now that’s a bad decision! How can you drink that shit?”

Zayn laughed and shook his head as Niall disappeared to order something to drink other than Zayn’s coffee.

\--- 

Liam opened the door to the college of arts and asked for directions to the exhibit. He thanked the student and headed in that direction. Liam knew that he was running out of time and had to find someone to do the artwork for his final project and he needed to do it quickly. The exhibit filled more than one of the studios and Liam was a bit overwhelmed by the amount of art on display. The exhibit was broken into sections so he stayed away from the more physical pieces and walked through the print sections including photography, painting, and digital art. Liam roamed with a notepad and wrote down the names of pieces and the student names that had created the work so he could contact them to see if they would be willing to help out. After a while of looking a student came up to him.

“Are you here with the student paper again?” the student asked.

“Sorry? Oh, no. I’m just looking at the art on display. I’m really interested in this piece but there’s no name on it. Do you happen to know who it’s by?” Liam asked.

The student looked at the tag below the mixed media painting and drawing before shrugging. “It doesn’t say who it’s by but I know that they’re doing a new installation tomorrow and I’ve seen more pieces like this that will be set up. If you want you can stop by in the morning and tell them you’re looking to see if they can tell you who the artist is?”

“I think I might. Thank you for your help,” Liam smiled. The student stared at Liam for a second before shaking off their dazed stare and nodded before walking away.

Liam looked at his phone and saw the time. He walked outside and it had started to rain, but he had to hurry or he was going to be late for work. He got in his car and carefully drove to the supermarket. He ran through the rain before tying his apron on, shaking out his now wet hair, and clocking in.

The manager snorted with laughter from the open office door when he saw Liam. “Always pushing it on time aren’t we Mr. Payne?”

“You have no idea sir,” Liam laughed and headed to his register. The store was quiet because of the rain and Zayn was at his register a few lanes away from Liam’s. “Zayn,” Liam shouted a bit louder than he meant to. Zayn jumped and turned to see Liam standing at his register a few lanes over. “Did you make it to your apartment alright last night?”

Zayn raised a weary eyebrow at Liam before slowly nodding. “Yes… why do you ask?” 

Liam shrugged. “Just making sure.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, I did. Thank you again for dropping me off.”

“You’re welcome. Seriously, if you ever need a ride let me know. I don’t mind.”

Zayn nodded and stared down at his feet before starting to play with a stray thread on his apron.

Liam shook his head and started drumming on the table by his register thinking about his final project. He grabbed two pens from the cup next to the register and started tapping out a drum beat and beat boxing his own rendition of Cry Me A River by Justin Timberlake. 

“Liam!” the manager called from his office.

“Sorry!” Liam blushed and put the pens back in the cup but continued to quietly beat box to himself.

“That was really good,” Zayn said as he looked across the lanes to Liam. “Do you do that a lot?”

Liam smiled in shock at Zayn making conversation. “Yeah, I’m actually going to school for music technology. I’m slowly working on my final project but I’m kind of out of inspiration.” Liam sighed. “If I was just doing it for fun I wouldn’t have a problem, but with them giving me a deadline it’s like my brain is vetoing the artistic process.”

Zayn laughed which made Liam smile. “Vetoing the artistic process?”

“Writer’s block?” Liam suggested.

Zayn laughed again, Liam smiling more. “I understood what you meant the first time; I just thought it was a funny way of putting it.”

“I’ve got all sorts of phrases that my head randomly decides to throw together. I’m a pretty funny guy if you’re around me long enough.”

Zayn closed in on himself again and started picking at the same thread on his apron.

Liam stared at Zayn, “Hey Zayn, can I ask you a question? Without you getting mad or shutting down on me I mean.”

Zayn reluctantly looked up at Liam. “I guess so.”

“How come you do that? Why do you randomly decide to shut down on me when we talk?”

“Separation of personal and work life,” Zayn responded.

“I think you mean separation of church and state,” Liam laughed.

“Same thing I guess,” Zayn said. “There’s a lot of stuff from my past that I prefer would stay in my past. A lot of my future hinges on the present so that’s where I try to stay. Live in the present, look forward to the future.”

“So live in the present, don’t let the past affect the now,” Liam suggested.

“That’s easier said than done. But for the sake of your sanity apparently, I’ll humor you for now,” Zayn conceded.

Liam’s jaw dropped. “Wow, you’re actually going to try to have conversations with me?”

Zayn shook his head, “I said for now. Don’t get your hopes up too high there Liam.”

“Hey I’ll take for now,” Liam laughed.

At the end of their shift Zayn’s “chauffer” once again pulled up to take Zayn home. “Hey Zayn your ride has returned,” Liam announced.

“Thank you Liam,” Zayn smiled as he shut the light to his lane off and took the drawer from the register to the manager’s office. A moment later Zayn returned, once again shrugging on his jacket as he headed for the door. Zayn stopped at the end of Liam’s lane as Liam was turning off the light and pulling out the drawer for his register. “Goodnight for now Liam,” Zayn smiled.

Liam turned around to see Zayn standing at the end of his lane and smiled. “Goodnight for now Zayn.”

\---

Zayn still wasn’t sure about trying to let someone new in, but he was going to try at least. For the sake of having someone to talk to at work of course. He walked to Niall’s car and hopped in before smiling at Niall, “Hey.”

“How was work?” Niall asked.

“Better,” Zayn nodded as he looked through the windshield at Liam who was currently playing with his keys as he walked to his car. “That’s the guy who took me home last night.”

Niall looked out the windshield and Zayn suddenly felt awkward as they both watched Liam walking to his car. “He doesn’t look like a deviant,” Niall laughed. “What’s his story?”

“I don’t really know. Today was the first day I talked to him and the only thing I really know is that he’s studying music technology at the university. He’s trying to finish his final project before graduation but in his words his ‘brain is vetoing the creative process’” Zayn explained as he turned to look at Niall again.

Niall laughed. “He seriously said vetoing the creative process? I like him already!”

“You like anyone with a sense of humor Niall,” Zayn said.

“This is true. So, why do I like you so much then?” Niall questioned.

“Because I laugh at your jokes even when they’re not funny,” Zayn shook his head.

“You know who’s jokes are bad?”

“Harry’s,” they both said in unison.

“Speaking of, do you want to come over and see them? I’m sure they’d love to see you since it’s been a while.” Zayn asked.

“Sure, but shouldn’t you ask them before inviting me over to their house?” Niall asked, raising an eyebrow at Zayn.

“I’m sure it’s fine, but can I borrow your cell phone? I’ll call them and ask.” 

Niall handed his cell phone over to Zayn and Zayn dialed Harry’s number. There were three rings before Harry answered the phone.

“Hey Harry, Niall is going to drop me off but I was wondering if you guys wanted to see him for a bit before he goes home?” Zayn asked.

“Of course, we’re always down to see Niall! He’s our Irish brother. We have to have Irish friends; I think it’s in the British handbook. It promotes unity.”

“Nope.” Zayn said to Harry.

“Bad joke?”

“Bad joke,” Zayn agreed.

“Oh alright, still… we’d love to see Niall. Bring him on up.”

“Alright, I’ll see you guys in a bit.” Zayn said before hanging up. He handed the phone back to Niall and smiled. “They said they’d love to see you. Harry also said that you’re their Irish brother and that it’s in the British handbook to have Irish friends, that it promotes unity.”

Niall cringed. “You have weird neighbors.”

“Yet I love them anyway,” Zayn smiled.

“You got very lucky, they are very supportive of you and they look out for you.”

“I know, and I don’t know if I could do this on my own…” Zayn started.

“Zayn, you’re stronger than you think you are. Don’t underestimate yourself,” Niall interrupted. 

Niall parked the car in the guest parking lot by the condominium complex and they walked together inside. Niall hit the button for the elevator but Zayn walked to the stairs like always. Niall looked at him for a second but gave in and followed Zayn up the stairs. Zayn laughed at the defeated look on Niall’s face.

“You’re making me walk?” Niall asked.

“Exercise, it’s good for you,” Zayn laughed.

“No, it’s good for you. It’s bad for me.”

Zayn shook his head and continued to climb the stairs. “It’s good for everyone, quit being lazy.”

They got to Harry and Louis’ door and Zayn knocked before stepping back behind Niall and smiling. Niall turned around to look at Zayn confused but didn’t have time to turn forward before he was tackled into a hug by Harry. Niall laughed and Zayn smiled.

“I see what you did there,” Niall laughed.

“Niall! My favorite Niall!” Harry said as he drug Niall inside. “Louis look! My favorite Niall!”

“Your only Niall, Haz,” Louis smiled and rolled his eyes from the couch. Zayn flopped down next to Louis and Louis leaned over and blew a raspberry on Zayn’s shoulder by way of a greeting. “How was work?”

“It was alright. Nothing terrible,” Zayn nodded.

“Better than last night?” Louis asked.

“Much better.”

“You’re a terrible sponsor you know that Horan?” Louis joked.

“Hey my nephew needed me. How was I supposed to know you two weren’t going to be able to pick him up?”

Zayn frowned at them. “Hey, I got home and everything is fine now. No fighting.”

“Yes mother,” Niall and Louis said in unison. Harry laughed and sat down next to Louis’ other side.

“How is baby Theo?” Louis asked. 

“So big! Here I took a picture last night,” Niall pulled out his phone and handed it to Louis with a proud smile on his face. A huge smile spread across Louis’ face before he passed the phone to Zayn.

“He looks like you,” Louis said as Niall beamed. “You’re definitely related.”

“I got him these little trainers that match mine, my brother was laughing before they left.”

“You’re too cute with him Nialler,” Harry said as he handed the phone back to Niall.

“So, Liam Payne, music technology student in university by day and supermarket cashier by night. What are we going to do with him?” Niall asked.

“Is that the guy that brought you home last night Zayn?” Louis asked.

“Yeah, wait… how do you know his last name Niall?” Zayn asked.

“I looked him up. Kind of easy when you told me what his major in college was and I know where he works.”

“That’s kind of creepy,” Louis said as he looked at Niall out of the corner of his eye.

“Yeah well, I have Zayn’s best interest at heart here. Now, what are we going to do?” Niall asked again.

“Nothing? They work together, from what Zayn has told me it sounds like Liam was genuinely trying to help out. There’s nothing wrong with him having friends at work. Besides, I think he’s probably tired of hanging around us all the time.” Harry said as he absentmindedly played with Louis’ hair.

“Any thoughts Zayn?” Niall asked.

“I don’t know. He’s an interesting guy and seems nice. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to have someone to talk to outside you three. I mean… I don’t know if I’d be comfortable telling him everything but I don’t think hanging out during the day would be such a terrible thing. It’d be pretty easy to stay away from any temptations that way.”

Niall nodded, “Sounds reasonable.” Harry and Louis nodded as well in agreement with Zayn’s idea. “Another good step forward, I’m proud of you Zayn.” Niall checked his phone and stood up to leave, “Alright boys, as much as I love you I’m going home and going to sleep. I currently love my bed more than you three.”

Zayn stood up to walk Niall out and he leaned over to hug Louis and Harry on his way out. “Goodnight boys, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Once in the hallway Niall stopped in front of Zayn’s door. “Call your mom. And tomorrow at work, find out what Liam does during the day, go hang out and get tea or something. But for the love of God, stay away from that coffee shit.” Niall shivered at the thought as Zayn laughed.

Zayn hugged Niall and opened his door. He stepped in before turning around to see Niall standing by the elevator. “Niall,” Zayn said quietly. “Thank you.”

Niall smiled and stepped into the elevator “Of course. Now in you go,” Niall said as the elevator doors began to close.

Zayn closed the apartment door and he went to call his mom before going to sleep.

\---

Liam walked up the steps of the college of arts and headed towards the exhibit. The doors were closed and a sign was hung in the window saying that the installation had been delayed. He knocked on the door anyway hoping that he might be able to talk to one of the professors about the artist he was looking for. After a few attempts Liam gave up and decided to head to work early. Liam pulled into the parking lot and headed inside where the manager was standing by the front doors. 

The manager did a double take at the sight of Liam, looked down at his watch and back up at Liam. “You’re early, where’s the real Liam?”

Liam smiled, “I had plans that fell through so I decided to come to work early so you wouldn’t get on me about almost being late.”

“Don’t clock in yet Mr. Payne, just because you’re early doesn’t mean you get to start early too.” the manager laughed.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you something.” Liam said cautiously. “Would it be okay if I switched registers tonight? It seems weird to have Zayn and I separated by so many lanes when it’s just the two of us working until closing.”

The manager looked at Liam for a second before looking over at Zayn who was leaning against the register flipping through one of the magazines from the rack close enough to reach. “I guess, but you behave Liam Payne or I will switch you to day shift.”

Liam looked at the manager confused for a second before nodding his head. “Deal.” When the manager walked away Liam headed towards Zayn’s register and stood against the bagging wheel. “Hey,” Liam said.

Zayn looked up at Liam and then at the clock on the wall. “You’re here early.”

“How do you know my schedule?” Liam asked with a smirk on his face.

“Because the manager comes out to see if you’re here every day right before you’re supposed to start and asks me if I’ve seen you yet.” Zayn said.

“Oh come on! I’ve never been late and you two are making it seem like it’s a huge surprise for me to show up early.”

“It is a huge surprise for you to show up early.”

“Fine, whatever,” Liam huffed. “Hey I asked him if I could be at the register next to you today… is that alright?”

“Yeah, I guess? Why wouldn’t it be?” Zayn shrugged.

“You do realize I’m going to force you to talk to me tonight right?” Liam smirked.

“I said I would try, for now. And guess what? It’s still for now,” Zayn laughed.

Liam shook his head and laughed. “There’s that laugh again.”

The night was relatively slow but Liam and Zayn’s conversations made it pass by rather quickly. Liam grabbed a toy ball from the shelf and tossed it to Zayn. Zayn caught it and looked at Liam before shaking his head with a smirk and tossing it back to him.

“So Mr. Mysterious, what do you do during the day? Are you a vampire?” Liam asked Zayn as they continued to toss the ball back and forth.

“Yeah, you caught me. You do realize I’ll have to kill you now that you know my secret right?” Zayn smirked. “I work with a friend of mine doing random jobs when he needs help. I usher at a movie theater sometimes, or I help with set designs when he directs plays for the local play house.”

“You do set design?” Liam asked, surprised at the revelation.

“Yeah, I paint props and do some of the construction for the sets.”

“Wow, jack of all trades.”

“Something like that,” Zayn smirked. “Hey Liam, what do you do during the day?”

Liam shrugged and looked at Zayn. “I go to university. I told you I’m studying music technology so I have class and I’m supposed to be working on my final project. I spend quite a bit of time in the recording studio trying to come up with new tracks. But, like I said before I’m kind of stuck and lack inspiration.”

“I know this is completely random, but would you mind if I came with you to the studio tomorrow just to check out what you work on?” Zayn asked.

Liam stood there with a blank stare on his face. He didn’t know what to say to Zayn. “Um…” Liam was at a loss for words. “You’re just full of surprises today aren’t you? You’ve always turned down offers to join us after work and here you are asking me to hang out.”

Zayn shook his head, “Nevermind, it’s fine.”

“No no! If you want to come with me tomorrow and check things out that’s totally fine. I just wasn’t planning on going to the studio tomorrow, I’m actually heading to an exhibit as part of my final project tomorrow but you’re more than welcome to come with.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s just on campus so I could swing by the studio and show you that as well.”

Zayn ripped a piece of receipt paper from the register and wrote down his phone number before handing it to Liam. “I don’t have a cell phone but that’s my house number. Do you remember where I live?”

“Yeah,” Liam nodded taking the number from Zayn.

“Just call me when you get there and I’ll come down.”

“Alright, it’ll be around 10 if that’s alright.”

“Perfect.”

\---

Zayn looked at the clock on his microwave, 9:58 am. He smiled and shook his head. He had been ready for about 15 minutes and had already been over to tell Louis that he was going to go hang out with Liam for a while and then he would check back in with him when he got home. The phone rang and Zayn picked it up.

“Hello?”

“I’m here.”

“9:59. Cutting it close once again, but as always, still on time,” Zayn laughed.

“Yeah yeah, are you coming or not?” Liam sighed.

“I’m on my way.”

Zayn left and locked the door behind him as he shrugged his jacket on. He made his way down the steps and waved to the doorman before he got in the car with Liam.

“You have a doorman,” Liam said as he looked out the passenger window.

“The building has doormen yes, I personally do not.”

“Oh so you’re a smartass outside work too?” Liam said as he looked at Zayn with a smirk.

“I’m a smartass at work too, don’t worry.”

Liam pulled away from the complex and headed toward the university. 

“So, where are we going?” Zayn asked.

“We’re going to an art exhibit at the university because I decided to collaborate with an art student so that I could have my project cover art done and they could add the piece to their portfolio.”

Zayn nodded, “Sounds mutually beneficial.”

Liam smiled, “It does. So, there was an exhibit that closed a couple of days ago with a piece by an unknown artist that I really liked. There was a new exhibit that was supposed to open yesterday that I was told would have more pieces by that artist in it so I want to see if I can find out who that artist is and hopefully work with them.”

“Which is why you were early yesterday, the exhibit wasn’t open,” Zayn nodded in realization.

“Exactly,” Liam nodded as he pulled into a parking space and shut the car off. “Can you hand me the parking pass in the glove box please?”

Zayn opened the glove box to find the parking pass. The glove box was full of color flyers, ticket stubs, and wrist bands that made Zayn stop for a second. “What are all these from?” he asked as he handed Liam the parking pass.

Liam looked at the glove box and nodded as he took the parking pass from Zayn and hung it in the window. “Those are from all the concerts, clubs, and shows that I’ve been to for research for my final project.” Liam got out of the car and saw Zayn hesitate before getting out of the car and closing the door behind him. “I have to use all of those as ‘sources’ for my project.”

Zayn nodded and Liam stopped to look at him, “Everything okay?”

Zayn looked at Liam for a second before he gave a slight smile and started walking again following behind Liam. “Yeah, everything is fine.”

“Okay,” Liam held the door open for Zayn and said “Welcome to the college of music.” Liam led them through the hallways and said hello to a few students and professors as they made their way to the recording studios. Liam opened the door to the two studios that were connected by a narrow hallway. The red light signaling that someone was recording was turned on in one studio and Liam saw movement in the other. He walked up and looked in the window and recognized the person inside. He opened the door and stuck his head in.

“Ms. Smith,” Liam smiled. “Mind if we come in?”

Sophia turned around and tackled Liam in a hug. “Of course you can! I haven’t seen you in ages Li,” Sophia smiled as she turned to see Zayn standing behind Liam.

Liam turned to face Zayn, “Zayn, this is Sophia my amazing best friend. Sophia, this is Zayn, I work with him down at the supermarket,” Liam smiled.

Sophia shook Zayn’s hand with a huge smile “Any friend of Liam’s is a friend of mine.” She turned to face Liam and glared at him for a second, “I love how you always fail to mention that I’m not only your amazing best friend but your smoking hot exgirlfriend.”

Liam shrugged as he flopped down into a spinning chair in front of a large mixing board. “Why bring up the past? We make better friends than we did boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Anyway…” Sophia started packing up her laptop and wrapping a pair of headphones up before sticking them in the backpack she was carrying. “What are you doing here? How’s your final project coming along?”

“I’m here showing Zayn the studio and what I do, I was talking to him about my final project…”

“More like complaining,” Sophia smiled.

“…and I decided to show him.” Liam continued, ignoring her interruption.

Sophia dug into her bag and pulled out a thumbdrive with the semester labeled on it and handed it to Liam. “Well, I just so happened to have just finished a raw cut on a song and as long as you give me credit for the raw cut I’ll let you do a remix for my semester final.”

Liam smirked. “Extra credit?”

Sophia faked offense before laughing, “Extra credit. I guarantee I’ll get brownie points too for a DJ Payne remix.” Sophia turned to Zayn and smiled, “Liam here is the golden boy of the music department right now, everyone is very sad to see him go.”

“Can I steal your laptop too? I didn’t bring mine with me.”

“Ugh, what would you ever do without me?” Sophia reached into her backpack and handed Liam the laptop. “Bring it back to me before you go to work, I need to work on it tonight.”

“Aye aye captain,” Liam smiled. Sophia bent down to kiss the top of his head and patted Zayn on the shoulder on her way out.

“It was nice to meet you Zayn, do your best to keep this one out of trouble yeah? Enjoy the show,” Sophia flipped the red switch on the wall by the door before closing the door behind her.

“Exgirlfriend?” Zayn asked as he sat down in another chair at the mixing board.

“Yeah, we dated for quite a while but were constantly fighting. Better as friends,” Liam smiled as he plugged the thumbdrive into the laptop and found the file Sophia had been working on. He clicked play and they listened to the raw track.

“That’s amazing. Is that her?” Zayn asked.

“Part of it is, there’s someone in the background though.” Liam frowned for a second and then looked at Zayn. “Can you sing?”

Zayn froze and looked at Liam. “Can I? Yes. Do I? No.”

“Please? Please please please please please…” Liam begged. “Is it working?”

“No,” Zayn smiled.

“Please please please please please.”

“Fine! What am I supposed to sing?”

“Do you know Torn?” Liam asked. “I think it’d make a good background mash up type track.”

Zayn headed into the booth and followed Liam’s instructions. Liam looked very happy the entire time they were recording. Finally done, Zayn came back into the room and smiled at Liam. “That was actually quite a bit of fun. How’d it sound?”

Liam leaned back in the chair and stared at Zayn. “I had no idea you could sing. Here,” Liam pushed the play button and crossed his arms over his chest watching Zayn’s face. It was a raw cut of the final product but it was already sounding really good. Once Liam put the beats and drums in it would make a great track.

Zayn looked at Liam and shook his head. “I can’t believe you did that. That doesn’t sound like me singing in there. It sounds so much better than me.”

“That’s all you,” Liam smiled. Liam looked at the clock and jumped, it had gotten later than he thought it was. “Oh, we need to go so you can get home and get ready for work.” Liam saved the track and grabbed Sophia’s laptop before shoving the jumpdrive in his pocket. “You ready?” Liam asked with a smile.

“We never made it over to the exhibit.”

“Do you want to go check it out really quick?”

“If you still want to,” Zayn shrugged.

They got into Liam’s car and headed to the other side of the campus where the college of art was. When they were getting close to the building Zayn closed in on himself again. Liam looked over at him and looked concerned.

“Are you okay?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, I just forgot that I had to do something before work.”

Liam looked at Zayn out of the corner of his eye but smiled, “Alright, I’ll come check it out another time.”

Liam dropped Zayn off in front of his condominium complex and said goodbye. He picked up his phone and called Sophia to make sure she was home and he could drop the laptop and thumbdrive off to her. When he pulled up outside her house he walked up to her front door and handed her the thumbdrive and laptop.

“How’d it turn out?” Sophia asked.

“Really good. I took my copy off and I’ll send it to you when I’ve added the backbeats. It’s gonna get you extra credit for sure,” Liam winked.

“Where are you off to?” Sophia asked.

“I’m going to run by the art exhibit and find out who one of the artists are. I’m going to try to get them to collaborate for my final project cover and hopefully they can use it for their portfolio.”

“Sounds great,” Sophia smiled. “Hey, there’s a new artist at one of the clubs tonight. Do you want to go check them out with me?”

“I have work,” Liam frowned. “Maybe I can call in.” Liam picked up his phone and called work; luckily the manager was in a good mood but made him pick up a double shift to make up for calling in. Liam agreed then smiled at Sophia. “I’m in.”

“Good, I’ll see you later.”

Liam said goodbye and headed back to the college of art to hopefully catch one of the professors at the exhibit. Liam pulled into a parking spot, put the parking pass up and headed inside. The doors to the exhibit were open and he headed to the print media and began wandering through the pieces. Almost immediately he found three pieces next to each other in the same style as the one he had been drawn to before. He looked underneath at the tags but there was still no artist listed. Liam looked around for a professor and found one.

“Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me out. I’m a senior at the college of music and I’m trying to do collaboration with a student for my final project. There are a couple of pieces here and one that I saw in the previous installation that really caught my eye, however there’s no artist name listed. Would you be able to tell me who they’re by?”

The professor smiled and nodded at Liam. “I can almost guess which pieces you’re talking about.” The professor led Liam to the three pieces he had been looking at. “These three and the piece in the previous installation are indeed all by the same artist. However, I can tell you that this artist is no longer a student here. He hasn’t been for a few years.”

“Why are his pieces still being displayed then?” Liam asked.

“Before he dropped out he had pieces in every installation that we had done from the time he started here. Towards the end he began creating a lot of prints not only mixed media but he had done some spray paint art, water colors, oil pastels, and sketches. These are the last three works that we have by him. Amazing artist, he would have graduated this year if he stayed.”

“Why did he leave?” Liam asked, admiring the works even more now.

“Health reasons,” the professor scrunched his face up in confusion. “I hope he comes back to school, he had amazing talent.”

Liam turned to face the professor and pleaded one last time, “Can you tell me his name?”

\---

The phone started ringing then stopped. A few minutes later the phone rang again. Zayn rolled over in the dark to look at the alarm clock next to his bed. 2:30 am. Slowly he stood up and stretched before he walked to the living room to answer the phone. By the time he got there the ringing had stopped. He leaned against the breakfast bar separating the kitchen from the living room and waited. The phone didn’t ring again. Zayn started back towards his bedroom when there was a thumping on his door. He froze and turned to look at the door. 

“What the hell?” he quietly asked himself. Zayn looked through the peephole and saw Liam leaning against the door frame. Zayn opened the door and Liam stumbled through. “Liam, what are you doing here?”

“You dropped out of art school.”

“How do you know that?” Zayn asked as he looked Liam over. He reached down and grabbed Liam’s arm to look at the colored plastic band on his wrist. “You went out, that's why you weren't at work.”

“I did go out. I needed inspiration,” Liam smiled.

“You can’t find inspiration at the bottom of a bottle Liam.” Zayn steered Liam to the couch and sat him down. He went to the kitchen to grab a water and a few aspirins from a bottle. When he turned around Liam was standing right in front of him. Zayn jumped.

“I didn’t find inspiration at the bottom of a bottle Zayn,” Liam took the pills out of Zayn’s hand and swallowed them without opening the bottle of water. “I found inspiration in the studio at school today. I found inspiration in this mysterious dark haired boy who is a constant surprise to me.”

“Hardly. How can I be an inspiration to you? We barely started talking,” Zayn said as he put his hands on Liam’s shoulders to steer him back to the couch. 

Liam pushed back against Zayn before he turned and dug his fingers into Zayn’s waist, pulling him against his body. Zayn gasped and a moment later Liam’s lips were pressed against his. Zayn was paralyzed, unsure and frightened by the taste of alcohol on Liam’s lips. He knew he should stop but his arms coiled around Liam’s shoulders of their own accord as Liam’s tongue pushed past Zayn’s lips. Liam broke the kiss as he gasped for air before reconnecting, his tongue wrestling with Zayn’s as Zayn closed his eyes finally giving in. Zayn stumbled back against the kitchen sink and they laughed through locked lips as Zayn’s hands moved down Liam’s back. Liam brought his hand forward and slid it down the front of Zayn’s sweatpants; Zayn could feel Liam smile against his mouth as he grabbed Zayn’s cock. He gasped and pushed forward against Liam’s hand and moaned in pleasure. 

The phone rang and they both jumped as far apart from each other, as the small kitchen would allow, like they were two teenagers that had been caught. Zayn looked down and pushed at his erection trying to readjust himself. He looked at Liam who was also trying to stealthily readjust himself. Zayn reached over and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, is everything alright?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, why?” Zayn asked, looking over his shoulder at Liam.

“I heard knocking coming from your direction, I thought someone might have come over.”

“No, someone was looking for the wrong apartment.”

“Okay, just making sure everything was alright. Night Zayn.”

“Thank you, goodnight Harry.” Zayn hung up and hung his head before turning back to Liam. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Liam asked, guarded.

“The interruption.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I should probably go though. I didn’t mean to wake you up and bother you.” Liam started toward Zayn but stopped and walked to the front door instead. “Goodnight Zayn.”

“Night Liam,” Zayn gave a half smile before closing the door behind Liam and locking it.


	3. Honest Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not PG, definitely not PG. Sorry this is so late, formatting errors galore! Also, next chapter is a flashback. I think it's time to find out what really happened with Zayn. It's a doozy. Drop me a line, let me know what you think. Comments are appreciated!

“I have a question for you,” Zayn said as he stared at Liam across the lane separating them.

Liam looked up at Zayn before looking back down at the magazine he was flipping through. “If you’re talking about the other night I would rather not talk about it. I’m sorry, I should never have done that.” Liam looked up at Zayn looking uncomfortable. “I was drunk and I kind of lost myself for a second.”

“That’s not it.” Zayn shook his head. “The thing that bothered me, not bothered me but threw me off, is that you use to date Sophia. If you’re straight why did you kiss me?”

“You kissed me back and I thought you were straight,” Liam raised an eyebrow at him. “I got caught up and I blame the alcohol. If it makes you feel any better that’s the first time that I’ve ever kissed a guy.”

“How would that make me feel better?” Zayn asked.

“I don’t know? I just don’t want you to think I walk around kissing guys all the time.”

“Do you think I do?” Zayn asked raising an eyebrow at Liam.

“No!” Liam shook his head. “Seriously I just want to put that behind us. This is quite possibly the stupidest fight I’ve ever had.”

“Geez, was I that bad of a kisser?”

“Zayn!”

“Liam!”

“What?” Liam looked down and flipped through the magazine to occupy him so he didn’t have to continue the argument.

“Are you mad?”

“No I’m just done with this argument, that’s all.”

Zayn smirked, “Wanna kiss and make up?”

“Jesus Christ Zayn.” Liam threw the magazine at Zayn making the pages flutter sending the magazine off course just as the manager came out to see the two of them laughing.

“What’s going on?” the manager asked as he picked the magazine up off the floor.

“Nothing, he did it,” they said in unison both pointing at each other.

“Both of you knock it off.” the manager dropped the magazine at the end of Liam’s conveyer belt and disappeared further into the store.

“If you’re going to do it again, don’t blame it on something you ass.” Zayn laughed as Liam made faces behind the manager’s back.

\---

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Liam asked as he looked at Zayn.

“Absolutely,” Zayn nodded. Liam handed Zayn the sheet of lyrics. Zayn looked down and read them. “Really?”

Liam smirked and nodded, “Really really.” Liam laughed at the smile on Zayn’s face.

Zayn walked into the recording booth and set the sheet on the stand in front of the microphone. He looked at the headphones and pointed to them asking Liam if he should put them on. Liam’s voice came over the sound system in the booth making Zayn jump for a second. “I didn’t know you could do that!”

Liam laughed, “Yeah, put the headphones on and just sing alright?” Liam gave Zayn thumbs up and Zayn returned the gesture. “You’re gonna be great.” Liam shut the intercom off and began sliding buttons and flipping switches before hitting the record button on his laptop. Liam made minor adjustments as Zayn began but he sat back and watched Zayn sing as the buttons began sliding on their own only making adjustments when necessary.

After a few cuts and waiting patiently as Liam messed with an arrangement he couldn’t hear through Liam’s headphones they were done. Liam spun in his chair a full 360 degrees before he stopped the chair to face Zayn directly.

“Amazing,” Liam smiled.

“Do I get to hear it?” Zayn asked expectantly.

“Not yet, but as soon as I get it turned in I’ll let you hear it,” Liam smiled.

“What the hell is that? You’ve got the finished copy right there and I can’t hear it yet?” Zayn looked slightly angrily at Liam.

Liam leaned forward with his elbows on his knees trying to figure out how to explain it to Zayn. “I am superstitious when it comes to my tracks. I know it sounds stupid, and it’s something I’m going to have to get over when I get a real job recording and mixing. I wait until after I’ve turned the final mix in to the professor before I let anyone hear it. I feel like I know it’s good enough and I’m happy with it, but if I let someone else listen to it and they don’t like it I will second guess myself and go crazy trying to re-record it.”

Zayn leaned back against the couch and frowned. “I understand. I’m just impatient.” He laughed and Liam couldn’t help but laugh as well.

“There’s that laugh again,” Liam smiled. He looked down at the clock on his mobile and gasped quietly. “Work.”

Zayn stood up and grabbed his jacket from the arm of the couch and waited as Liam packed his things into his messenger bag. They left the studio and got into Liam’s car to go to work. When they walked in to the supermarket the manager looked at Zayn and Liam before glaring at Liam. Zayn looked at Liam and raised his eyebrow. “What’s that about?”

“He wants me to stay away from you,” Liam said, his eyebrows knitting together. “He thinks I’ll be a bad influence on you.”

Zayn’s expression dropped for a moment and he shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, I’m perfectly capable to picking my own friends thank you very much.” He gave Liam a quick pat on the shoulder and disappeared into the manager’s office with the manager close on Zayn’s heels.

\---

Liam walked straight down to the professor’s desk and smiled as he handed her a CD.

_Liam Payne  
Final Project Preview Track_

The professor looked up at him with a smirk as she took it from his hand. “You’re early to class and you have the track to me on time. I’m very impressed Mr. Payne. Stay after class and we’ll give it a listen, yeah?” She smiled again and waved him off to find a seat. 

Midway through the class Liam looked around and noticed that no one else had their books out, only composition books they were furiously scribbling notes in. He looked at the PowerPoint presentation being projected onto the screen at the front of the class and sighed. It was a chapter on media ethics once again. Liam sighed as he set his chin on his crossed arms when his mind immediately wandered to Zayn. 

He thought about what happened a few nights before and groaned. He got caught up in the moment, urged on by unraveling some of Zayn’s mysteries, and given a boost of courage by the alcohol he had been drinking that night. He felt bad because he forced himself on Zayn. But, then again, Zayn did kiss him back. Liam sighed trying to figure out what he actually felt. On one hand he was straight and definitely liked girls. On the other he barely knew Zayn. If he had a third hand he’d be adding the fact that he did like it into the mix. Judging by the way things were progressing he was sure that Zayn had liked it too. Then his mind began to wander past the kiss. What would have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted by the phone? How far would things have gone? Would either of them have let things go any further? 

“Pop quiz,” the professor announced effectively snapping Liam out of his thoughts. “Five questions, when you’re done leave the papers on my desk and you’re free to go.” 

Liam took a piece of paper out of his messenger bag and dug for a pen. He looked up at the questions and the multiple choice answers listed on the screen. He read over each question twice before he started laughing. 

“Is there a problem Mr. Payne?” 

Quickly a few students looked at him before looking at the screen and back down at their papers. The professor caught his eye and smirked at him, she did it on purpose. 

“No, I suppose not.” Liam stood up, walked to the front of the class and set his paper on her desk before flopping down into one of the seats in the front row closest to the desk. He was the first one done but of course he had to wait for everyone else to finish. Finally, the last student turned their quiz in and left. 

“Let’s see how you did Mr. Payne,” the professor smirked. 

“With the quiz or with my track?” Liam asked. 

“Both.” The professor dug to the bottom of the stack of papers and pulled his out. She looked at the answers and laughed. “You know, you sat there the entire time and you were zoned out. How could you manage to get every single question correct?” 

“Well, even though you didn’t specifically state there could be multiple correct answers for each of the questions there were. That’s a mean trick to pull you know that ma’am?" 

“If they all paid attention they wouldn’t have a problem picking all the correct answers, even if that wasn’t explicitly stated in the directions. Do you know what this was meant to teach you Liam?” 

“It was meant to teach us that ethics are supposed to be strict guidelines, but they are arbitrarily set by someone based on the idea that the guidelines are fair to all involved parties. However, ethics are gray instead of black and white. Everyone has their own idea of what’s ethical based on multiple factors including beliefs, upbringing, and socioeconomic status.” 

“You sound like a text book Mr. Payne,” the professor said as she picked up the CD of Liam’s track. “So far you’re 1 for 1. Let’s see if you’re gonna go 2 for 2.” She reached over and slid Liam’s track into the disc player on her laptop. The beat kicked in and she raised and eyebrow for a second as she looked at Liam. When Zayn’s voice entered the track she jerked back in shock. “Who is that singing?” 

Liam smiled for a second and he’s proud of Zayn, “A friend of mine. That’s the first time he actually did a full song.” 

“A full song?” the professor asked as she listens intently to the track with a smile on her face. 

“Yeah, he’s done background vocals for a remix I did on Sophia Smith’s project.” 

“He’s really good. Let him know.” 

“I will,” Liam smiled. “I’ll definitely let him know.” 

“And Liam?” the professor called after him. 

“Yeah?” 

“You too,” She smiled. 

“Thank you professor,” Liam smiled. He walked out of the class smiling both for himself and for Zayn. He knew exactly where he was going, but nervously he decided what he was going to do as well. 

\--- 

Liam walked out of the elevator carrying a bottle of Jack Daniel's with a copy of his CD in his hand as he knocked on Zayn’s door. A door to Liam’s left opened where a man with curly brown hair stuck his head out and stared Liam down. His eyes dropped to the bottle in Liam’s hand and he bolted out of the apartment. The man grabbed the bottle of Jack from Liam’s grasp as Zayn’s door opened. 

“Yoink!” Harry said as he disappeared back into his apartment. 

Liam and Zayn both looked confused as Harry and Louis’ door closed behind Harry. 

“Well, I brought you a congratulatory present but it seems that your neighbor has stolen it.” 

Zayn’s mouth opened in realization at what Harry had done before he stepped back into his apartment and let Liam in. “Well, I’m sure it was a nice gift and I appreciate the gesture. But, what exactly am I being congratulated for?” 

Liam handed Zayn the CD and smiled. “My professor listened to the track at the end of class today. She wanted me to tell you that you’re really good. According to Sophia, she’s actually trying to get Sophia to give her a copy of the remix I made with you on the background track." 

“Wow, I suppose I’m honored then.” Zayn blushed. “That’s great for you though!” He headed over to his CD player and put the CD in. 

The phone rang and Zayn answered it. “Hello?” Zayn shook his head. “Yes Harry, I know who he is he's not a stranger. He’s perfectly fine.” Zayn laughed and quickly said “Goodbye Harry.” He hung the phone up and put it back on the table before turning to Liam. “The curly haired guy that stole your present is one of my neighbors, his name is Harry.” 

“Ah, well he still stole your present.” Liam shrugged. “You can fight him for it.” 

“Go ahead and sit down,” Zayn motioned to the couch. 

“Nah, I’d rather stand until after you’ve heard the song.” 

“…Okay,” Zayn said in confusion. Zayn pressed play and smiled as the music started. “Nice.” 

Liam began to pace back and forth watching the expression on Zayn’s face as his voice joined the music. Zayn smiled and that made Liam smile. 

_In my left hand there is the familiar_  
 _In my right hand there’s the great unknown_  
 _I can see the madly different grass there_  
 _But I’m drawn to wilder nights at home_

  
“I don’t sound like that do I?” Zayn asked as he slowly settled into the beat of the music.

“That’s all you, the background is you just… distorted for effect.” Liam nodded. “Um… can I get water?” 

“Sure,” Zayn headed into the kitchen to get a bottle of water before returning to the living room to find Liam standing still wringing his hands together. “You alright?” Zayn asked.

“I’m fine,” Liam answered as he took the bottle of water from Zayn and took a quick drink. He set the bottle down on the table by him and looked at Zayn. “You know how you said if I was going to do it again that I shouldn’t blame it on something?”

Zayn looked confused as Liam tentatively took a step closer to him. Liam slid his hand across the side of Zayn’s face feeling the stubble of his beard and pulled him forward until their lips met. Once again Zayn froze, but this time there was no taste of alcohol. There was no excuse for Liam to blame this on. Liam pulled back looking a little embarrassed when Zayn didn’t move. 

“Sorry,” Liam said as he popped his lips and took a step away from Zayn. “Maybe I should…”

Zayn stopped Liam from finishing the sentence as he smashed his lips against Liam’s. It wasn’t graceful but Zayn knew he had to do it or he’d lose his nerve. Liam sighed in relief against Zayn’s mouth before Zayn’s tongue slid past Liam’s lips. Zayn’s hands came up and tangled into Liam’s hair, slightly pulling but also steadying Liam. Liam pulled away for a second and laughed.

“Much better than the edge of the sink right?” Liam laughed before being pulled back into Zayn.

“Shut up, you talk too much,” Zayn laughed with their mouths pressed against each other and Zayn fervently trying to kiss Liam even deeper. The music in the background continued to thump on.

_Are you drifting way beyond what’s normal?_  
 _'Cause 'round your mind rings the words that they would say?_  
 _When you go home everything looks different,_  
 _And you're scared of being left behind._

Zayn blindly led Liam backwards toward the couch before losing his balance and dragging Liam over the back of the couch with him. They landed on the cushions and rolled before slamming onto the floor.

“Fuck,” Zayn said as Liam pulled away, both of them rubbing their heads. “That didn’t go how I imagined it would.” Zayn laughed and Liam smiled.

“There’s that laugh again,” Liam grabbed both of Zayn’s wrists and held them above Zayn’s head as he moved to straddle him. Liam leaned down and pressed his lips to Zayn’s before gently biting Zayn’s bottom lip and pulling.

“Woah,” Zayn groaned. Zayn pushed his arms up making Liam lose his balance and fall forward pressing their lips together. He moved his arms down around Liam’s waist and in one quick move had Liam on his back pinned beneath Zayn. 

“Damn,” Liam laughed.

From the floor Liam slid his hands underneath Zayn’s shirt and Zayn tensed at the coldness of Liam’s fingers. He continued up Zayn’s sides as his thumbs slid over each of Zayn’s abs then each rib. Liam sat up pushing Zayn back so he was sitting on Liam’s lap. Liam lifted Zayn’s shirt over his head as Zayn wiggled to help him pull it off. Liam leaned forward to kiss Zayn but he pulled away.

“Yours too cheater,” Zayn said as he slid his hands under the hem of Liam’s shirt and pulled it off twice as quickly as Liam had. Liam laughed as Zayn leaned forward with their tongues clashing, wrestling, and exploring each others’ mouths. 

With their eyes closed and lips locked together neither conceded to the other. Liam’s hands began to roam across Zayn’s skin. He found the slight bump caused by the ink of a tattoo and traced it until Zayn shivered under his touch. Liam smiled against Zayn’s mouth and continued following the line making Zayn squirm. Zayn ground down against Liam’s erection in retaliation.

“Not fair,” Liam groaned.

“You started it,” Zayn smirked. 

Liam leaned forward causing Zayn to fall on his back. He straddled either side of Zayn’s body locking him in with his elbows as he pushed himself forward against Zayn’s ass, his erection straining at the fabric with every movement. Zayn pulled Liam down until their chests were touching, skin against skin, erection against erection and wrapped his legs around Liam’s thighs pulling him closer.

“Now what?” Liam gasped, his words coming out a mix between a groan and fully formed words as Zayn pulled him against him again. “I don’t think I’m ready for sex.”

“Slow down there buddy,” Zayn groaned as Liam’s erection pushed against his ass. “No one said anything about sex. I’m not ready to go there either.”

Liam adjusted himself awkwardly as he rolled off Zayn, “I have an idea.” Liam stood up and held his hand out to help Zayn off the ground. Zayn took Liam’s hand and awkwardly caught his balance before standing up. Liam smiled then pushed Zayn backwards onto the couch. He crouched down to his knees and pushed himself between Zayn’s legs. “Uh… sorry if this is bad.” Liam slowly fumbled with the button on Zayn’s jeans before unzipping them and pulling them down to his ankles. 

“Oh… okay.” Zayn said as he stared at Liam awkwardly kneeling between his legs.

Liam reached into Zayn’s boxers and pulled out his already hard cock. Liam exhaled and went for it, sucking the whole thing in his mouth before choking.

“Watch the teeth,” Zayn hissed as Liam pulled off with his eyes watering.

“Sorry,” Liam said, “I haven’t done this before.”

“Neither have I Liam, I guess just calm down?” Zayn said. “Maybe do what you like having done to you when a girl does it?”

“Yeah you’re right.”

Liam pulled Zayn’s foreskin down and licked at the underside of Zayn’s cock getting some pre-come with it. Liam didn’t want to admit it to himself but Zayn didn’t taste bad. He licked the underside of Zayn’s cock again but this time he carefully took the head into his mouth making sure he covered his teeth with his lips. He sucked and moved his hand down Zayn’s shaft and felt Zayn tense underneath him.

“Was that bad?” Liam asked pulling off, afraid he was hurting Zayn.

“No no, keep going.” Zayn reached down and gave Liam’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze before Liam took Zayn into his mouth again.

Liam found an easy rhythm that Zayn seemed to enjoy from the moans he was letting out. Zayn reached into Liam’s hair and pulled which scared Liam but also gave him reassurance and motivation to keep going. Zayn’s moans came faster and louder the closer he got. Liam felt Zayn’s balls tighten and knew he was close to coming. Liam pulled Zayn out of his mouth just in time as Zayn shot all over his stomach barely missing Liam’s chin.

“Shit, sorry. Oh my God Liam.” Zayn convulsed with his orgasm and a smirk spread across Liam’s face.

\---

Zayn led Liam to the door and handed Liam his CD back. “That was definitely a first.”

Liam ran his hand awkwardly through his hair. “Yeah, it was.” Liam looked at Zayn with concern before asking, “This isn’t going to change anything between us is it? I mean, I don’t want this to ruin everything that we’ve done to get to this point.”

“Things are going to change one way or another, either we go down the road we’ve already started going down or we stop and this makes us closer friends. I'm not going anywhere,” Zayn assured Liam. “Don’t worry about it right now. You’ve got a lot to be happy about with your track and being one step closer to finishing your final project.”

“Oh, I wanted to ask you. One of the things that I have to do still is get the artwork for my final project done. I didn’t get a chance to ask you the other night after… you know. Would you mind doing the artwork for my final project? I loved all those pieces in the installations and I would love it if you could do something for me. Please?” Liam begged.

Zayn shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know Liam. That was a long time ago. I don’t…” Zayn sighed at the look on Liam’s face and knew that he couldn’t let him down. “Can I think about it?”

“That’s better than no. I’ll take it, for now,” Liam winked.

Zayn leaned forward and kissed Liam before opening the door and shoving him out. “Go home,” Zayn laughed.

“There’s that laugh again,” Liam smiled. He got in the elevator and pushed the button for the lobby, Liam’s smile never left his face even as the doors closed and he disappeared from sight.

“What is this? Who was that? Why is he leaving your apartment so late? Why are your lips swollen? And why do you have stubble burn on your face?” Louis barraged Zayn with questions from the doorway of their apartment.

“What?” Zayn blinked not realizing that Louis was standing there.

“Oh my God Zayn Malik,” Harry said peeking around Louis’ shoulder.

“Shut the fuck up. Zayn Malik, you made out with a boy!” Louis shouted. “What else did you two do? No, don’t tell me, I don’t even want to know.”

“Welcome to the dark side,” Harry laughed and wiggled his eyebrows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Zayn and Liam recorded is The Draw by Bastille if anyone is wondering.


	4. I'm A Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback. Sorry about the Zerrie, it's only a little bit I promise. Back to Ziam next chapter!!!! Once again, drop me a line and let me know what you think! Feedback is appreciated!

“Fuck this, I’m leaving. I don’t have to sit here and listen to this shit. I’m going to work on my projects,” Zayn grabbed his jacket and slammed the door behind him. He was coming down from his high and his head was starting to hurt. He knew better than to start a fight with his mother when he was sober, but it was always so much worse when he was high.

He got in his car and sped through the streets to the school. He parked and grabbed a bottle of pills from his glove box. He squinted at the mix of colors at the bottom of the bottle. He dumped them all in his hand and grabbed two yellow Percocet before he popped them in his mouth swallowing them dry. Zayn cringed as they went down before closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the headrest. He took a deep breath and put the pill bottle back in the glove box before getting out of the car and struggling to pull his portfolio out from behind the seats.

Once inside the art studio Zayn shook the spray paint can and started spraying it onto the white glossy poster board. He crumbled up newspaper and pulled color off giving the remaining paint the marbled effect he was looking for. The final student waved at him as he left leaving Zayn alone in the art lab staring at the poster board in front of him. Zayn stretched and looked around the lab for something he could try to use for a different textured look.

He stood up, walked to the art cabinet, and sorted through the different colors of spray paint available for students to use. He smirked as he grabbed a plastic shopping bag and sat down on one of the couches close by. Zayn shook the spray paint can and started to spray it in the plastic shopping bag. He wrapped the bag around his mouth and nose before inhaling deeply, pulling the chemicals in and feeling lightheaded almost immediately. He continued to breathe deeply and found the bag fascinating as it inflated and deflated with each of his breaths. In and out, in and out, over and over.

“Hey kid, we’re locking the building down. You have to go.” The security guard was nudging his shoulder attempting to wake him.

Zayn jumped and looked around. The spray paint can was gone and so was the bag. He rubbed his hand across his mouth and nose, no paint came away. He nodded at the security guard. “Okay, I’m going.” He stood up and looked around still feeling lightheaded, probably made worse by the mix of Percocet and spray paint. 

As the security guard left the room and turned the corner Zayn frantically searched for the evidence to dispose of it. On his knees he looked under the couch and found both the can and the bag. He threw the bag in the trash and tried to bury it. He returned the spray paint to the cabinet and shut the door. Zayn rubbed his face and eyes trying to gain some composure back before putting his work-in-progress in his portfolio and carrying it to his car with him.

He unlocked his Phantom Black Audi R8 coupe with the remote and threw his portfolio haphazardly behind the seats. He got in, started the car absentmindedly, and picked up his mobile to call Perrie. 

“Hey, you were right, spray paint is better than permanent markers. I passed out though.”

“Why’d you do it without me? I wanna get high with you.”

“I was at school, I was working on my projects.”

“Come over.” Perrie whined.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Zayn hung up and sped off towards Perrie’s house breaking more laws than just the speed limit.

Perrie was sitting on the curb in front of her house when Zayn pulled up. As soon as he was out of the car she was attached to him. They made their way stumbling to her room where she had music blaring and a few people were sitting around her room in various states of consciousness. There were a few nods and hello’s sent in Zayn’s direction.

“Here, try this.” Perrie said as she handed him a little orange pill with wings stamped on it.

Zayn took the pill and looked at Perrie. “Why are there wings on it?”

“It makes you fly,” Perrie laughed. “It’s to match your tattoo on your chest.” She continued as her hand drug across his chest over the tattoo from shoulder to shoulder.

Zayn popped the pill into his mouth and grabbed a bottle of beer sitting on her nightstand to wash it down. “What did I just take?”

“You should ask before you take things you know?” Perrie laughed. “It’s Molly.”

Every sensation Zayn felt was more intense. He felt magnetized to Perrie as if his life depended on being pressed against her. The lights were brighter and he could feel them against his skin; the waves of air from the fan in her room made the hair on his arms stand up like it was an icy wind. His cheek pressed up against Perrie’s and he could feel the heat pulsing off her face. Their bodies moved to the rhythm of the music and nothing felt better in his life.

Hours later he got in his car and drove home. He turned the corner onto his street and ran a stop sign; he didn’t see the car as he clipped the front of it pushing both cars in the same direction. In a panic Zayn pressed his foot to the accelerator and his tires squealed against the street, his car fishtailed as he fled from the scene not even checking to see if the people in the car were okay.

He pulled into the driveway faster than he meant to and slammed into the corner of the garage. His head hit the steering wheel and he blacked out.

\---

Zayn refused to get out of the car. His mother tricked him into going to the “store” with her but instead drove him to a rehabilitation facility. Zayn was pissed. He didn’t need rehab, he was perfectly fine. He was in control and he definitely didn’t have a drug problem. 

Yes, he had gotten high last night with Perrie and ended up crashing his car into the garage at his mother’s house. It wasn’t anything serious but both his car and the garage had noticeable damage. Finding Zayn blacked out in the car was his mother’s breaking point. She had been biting her tongue but she couldn’t do it anymore. 

“It’s this or nothing Zayn. I hate to see you like this. I can’t keep giving you the money from your trust fund for you to spend on drugs – I won’t give you the money for something that will kill you. I won’t bury my baby. If you come out of here clean and sober, and you prove to me that you’re done with all this shit, I will welcome you back with open arms.”

Zayn handed his phone, car keys, and house keys to his mother with red rimming around his sunken and shadowed eyes as the drugs still coursed through his veins. He fought back tears at her betrayal. The rehab lobby was sterile white, limited on seating, and freezing cold. Zayn didn’t know whether the cold was him or the lobby though.

“Turn out your pockets, make sure everything is handed to your mother or put in the envelope,” the receptionist said impatiently.

Zayn looked at the receptionist and turned out his pockets to show they were empty, also noting his lack of dignity. The receptionist nodded at him and waved for him to pass through the double doors into the rehabilitation facility. 

He turned to look at his mother as the first tear fell from her eyes. He stepped toward her to say goodbye and comfort her but she became tense and turned her back to him to leave. Everything he had taken for granted without so much as a second thought to thank her for was suddenly gone and he was walking through cold white double doors to get help he was now realizing he might need.

\--- 6 Months Later ---

Zayn sat in one of two leather chairs in his counselor’s office wringing his hands together while he waited for her to enter the room. He kept looking at the clock as the second hand ticked seemingly slower and slower with every passing second. Finally, the door opened and his counselor shut it behind her.

“Is something wrong Zayn?” she asked as she paused and noticed Zayn wringing his hands together. 

Zayn looked down at his hands and pulled them apart before wiping his sweaty palms against the legs of his pants. “No, sorry. I’m just nervous. I haven’t seen my mother or sisters in 6 months. So much has changed and I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. What if they don’t forgive me?”

“They’ll forgive you. Your mom made you check in because she cares about you Zayn. She didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I know, I feel like I let her down by being in here in the first place. What happens if I relapse on the outside and I have to come back? I don’t want to let her down again.”

“That’s part of the reason you’re here today Zayn. I want to talk to you about a support system once you leave. Usually we let the patient pick the meeting time and place once they get out. But you’ve already decided some things.”

Zayn nodded. He remembered coming to her and asking her if he could set things up ahead of time so he would be able to avoid situations before he even stepped out of the door of the rehab facility. The last time he had come in to see her he had asked for meetings during the day, and to have a set sponsor from the beginning that he would be able to rely on and trust.

The counselor pulled a file out of a cabinet and opened it as she sat down. “I’ve tried to help as much as I can to make it a stable transfer for you. I talked to your mother and she already found a place for you to live. She’s done a lot of research on it. It’s in a good area and it’s a completely different side of town than you’re used to. I’ve found some meetings in that area and called around. There were a few sponsors that came highly recommended from each of these meeting groups.”

Zayn looked at the counselor hopefully. “Wow, you really are helping a lot.”

The counselor looked at Zayn directly in his eyes, “Zayn it’s my job to send you out into the world again and make sure you succeed. I don’t want you coming back here; if you come back it means that I did something wrong. I’m not going to let anyone leave until I’m absolutely sure that they are ready.” The phone on the counselor’s desk rang and she answered. “Send him in.”

There came a soft knock on the door and Zayn looked over as the door slowly opened. A younger man, blonde hair blue eyes, walked in and smiled before nodding at Zayn and the counselor. “Hello, I’m guessing I’m in the right place.”

The counselor stood and shook his hand before stepping back and gesturing toward Zayn. “This is Zayn, he’s the one I’ve been telling you about.”

The man nodded in realization and stuck his hand out toward Zayn. “Good to meet you Zayn, my name’s Niall.”

Zayn gave a small smile and shook Niall’s hand before both he and Niall took a seat in the leather chairs in front of the counselor’s desk. The counselor looked at Zayn from the corner of her eye and saw Zayn’s apprehension.

“Zayn, Niall is the highest recommended sponsor that I could find in the area. He’s been a sponsor for a while correct?” 

Niall nodded and reached into his pocket pulling out a set of keys. On the key ring there was a bronze chip with a roman numeral 4 stamped in it. “I’ve also been clean for 3 years; it’ll be 4 in a couple of months.” He handed his keys to Zayn with a proud hesitation. “If you’ll let me, I’d like to get you a few of those chips of your own.”

Zayn ran his finger across the face of the chip with the words ‘To Thine Own Self Be True’ etched around the edge of the chip and the number 3 right in the center. “Is this only for Alcoholics Anonymous or is it for Narcotics Anonymous too?” Zayn looked at Niall then the counselor before handing the keys back to Niall.

“Narcotics Anonymous chips are slightly different but in general they are the same.”

“Do I need to go to both meetings or do I just go to one? How does that work?”

“Well, which do you think you need the most help with Zayn?” the question came from Niall this time, not his counselor. “This is your journey. You need to decide what is best for you. We’re just here to make sure you stay on the path you’ve chosen.” The counselor smiled at Niall impressed with him.

“Narcotics Anonymous. Alcohol was never really an issue for me; it was easier to stay away from. More socially acceptable too I guess.”

“You’re going to need to stay away from both of them, you know that right Zayn?”

“Yeah, that’s why I asked,” Zayn’s face contorted as he struggled to make a decision. “Will you still be my sponsor either way?” Zayn asked Niall.

“Absolutely. Things will be a little bit different from what my experiences were, but if I come across something I don’t know I will be there for you and I will find out. You commit, I commit.” Niall smiled at Zayn and Zayn couldn’t help but smile back.

\---

Zayn shrugged his messenger bag over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs to the new condo his mother had him set up in. When he reached the floor Niall and his mother were already standing waiting for him since they had taken the elevator.

“Wanna tell me what that’s about?” Niall asked with his hands casually tucked in his pockets.

“Exercise, it’s good for you.” Zayn ducked his head a bit as Niall and his mother both looked at him with confused looks on their faces.

“Okay,” Niall smiled before clapping him on his shoulder. “Let’s check this place out.”

Zayn’s mother handed the keys to Zayn and let Zayn open the door to his new home. They stepped through and Zayn noticed that it was very open and furnished sparingly. Zayn liked the minimalist aspect to it having lived in a small room for the past 6 months. Niall followed Zayn as he looked around nervously fidgeting with the keys in his hand.

Niall walked into the kitchen and checked all the cupboards. They were empty as well as the refrigerator. “We need to go shopping Zayn. I’ll come with you; support and all that.”

“Thank you,” Zayn nodded before turning back to his mother. “Thank you. I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Zayn, you’ve apologized enough. You’re clean, I want you to move forward and be happy from now on. If you stay clean, I’ll be happy. That will be apology enough for me.” His mother walked over to him and pulled him into a hug before pulling back and kissing him on the cheek. “I have to go but I want you to call me every night when you get home so I know you’re okay.” Zayn nodded and his mother looked to Niall. “Are you going to take him shopping?”

Niall looked over his shoulder and nodded. “I’ll take him shopping right now. I’ll make sure he calls you as soon as we get home Mrs. Malik.”

“Thank you Niall, and please call me Trisha.”

“You’re welcome Mrs… I mean Trisha.”

Zayn’s mom smiled and waved to Zayn before walking out the door and closing it behind her. Zayn flopped down on his new couch and looked at Niall. “Am I ready for this?”

Niall sat down on the couch next to Zayn slightly turned toward him. “Yes, you’re ready for this Zayn. You need to have a little faith in yourself. I have faith in you and I believe you can do it.”

Zayn sighed before looking at Niall, “Alright, I’ll try. Can we go get me some food please?”

Niall laughed. “Absolutely, we definitely need to get you pizza though.”

“Why pizza?” Zayn asked, a confused look spreading across his face.

“Because I like pizza, and I’m your sponsor, so you have to pay me back in pizza.”

Zayn laughed before standing up, ushered Niall out the door of his new condo, and locking the door behind them.

They pulled up to a supermarket and Niall walked through the sliding doors but Zayn paused outside them looking at a ‘Help Wanted’ sign typed and hung up in the window. Niall grabbed a buggy and began to wander through the store. 

“Do you think I might be able to get a job? It’ll give me something to do instead of sitting around not doing anything,” Zayn asked Niall as he started dropping things into the buggy as they wandered.

“It’s a good idea, but I don’t know about the money situation. That might be considered a temptation.”

“I need to pay my bills Niall.”

“Well, we can figure something out. Why do you bring up getting a job?”

“There was a help wanted sign in the window and I think that working in a supermarket wouldn’t be much of a temptation. If I work at night then I won’t have the temptation to go out at night either.”

“You don’t have a car Zayn. How would you get to and from work?”

“Do you think you could take me until I figure something else out?”

Niall grabbed 5 pizzas and dropped them in the buggy. Zayn’s jaw dropped as he looked at Niall slightly shocked. “You’re gonna owe me a lot of pizzas for taking you to and from work all the time Malik.”

“I haven’t even got a job yet!” Zayn grabbed 3 of the pizzas and stuck them back in the freezer section. “2 pizzas until I get a job Niall. Only 2.”

“Fine, let’s go pay and you can talk to the manager.”

They got to the checkout lanes and went through the lane with a brown haired man with brown eyes as the checker. Zayn casually glanced down at the man’s nametag and saw ‘Liam’ etched into the plastic. Zayn paid and thanked Liam. “Can I speak to the manager?” Zayn asked. Liam’s face dropped into a scowl.

“Have I done something to offend you?” Liam asked.

“No, I’m actually inquiring about the help wanted sign in the window.”

“Oh, one sec. I’ll get him for you.” Liam picked up the phone by the register and waited for the manager to pick up. “Someone’s here about the sign in the window,” Liam bobbed his head through the manager talking. “Yes, he’s at my lane right now. Thanks,” Liam continued before turning back to Zayn. “He’ll be here in just a sec.”

Zayn moved the buggy out of the way, leaned against the handlebar, and looked at Niall. “Do you think I even have a chance at getting a job here and asking to work nights?”

“Maybe, all you can do is ask right? Worst they can say is no.”

15 minutes later Zayn had a job working nights as a cashier and Niall was scowling with a buggy full of food and some half melted frozen items.

\---

“We didn’t think this through,” Niall said as he strained under the weight of the bags he was carrying.

“I’m gonna have to set them down to get my keys to open the door.” Zayn sighed and put the bags down before digging in his pocket for his keys to open the door. Niall went in and Zayn was picking the bags up trying to balance them as a shaggy brown haired man walked out of the elevator and looked at him in curiosity.

“Do you need some help?” the man asked.

“No, but thanks for offering,” Zayn replied politely as the handle on one of the bags snapped and dropped to the floor. “Shit.”

The man stooped quickly and grabbed the bag, “Go ahead neighbor, I’ve got this one.” The man smiled and his eyes widened as he gave a slight smile.

“Um, okay.” Zayn walked into the apartment and saw Niall putting stuff away. Niall looked up and confusion spread across his face. “This is my neighbor apparently. Either that or I let a mass murder into my brand new condo and we’re both about to die.”

Niall laughed awkwardly, “Let’s hope it’s the first option.”

The man set the bag on the counter and headed for the door. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to help my neighbor out. I live next door. My name is Harry and I’m definitely not a mass murderer.”

“Do you live alone?” Niall asked as he continued putting food away.

“My name is Zayn, that’s Niall.” Zayn said, trying to divert the conversation and break the tension.

“That’s a creepy question to ask. No, I don’t live alone. I live with my husband slash fiancé slash significant other slash boyfriend. Whatever you want to call it. I just call him Louis.” Zayn and Niall both looked at Harry and Harry smiled. “I’m guessing both of you are straight and never met gay people?”

“We’re straight but we’ve met gay people, well I have I mean,” Zayn laughed. “I just don’t think I’ve ever met someone as up front and direct about it.”

Harry nodded, “Lou and I have been together for a long time. We’ve gone through some stuff and had to hide our relationship but once we stopped hiding it everything got so much better. At this point we’re not going to go back into hiding what we are. If people don’t like it then we don’t need them in our lives, ya know?”

“Makes sense,” Zayn nodded. Niall looked at Zayn and shrugged.

“Is it pretty quiet around here? No parties or drugs or anything?” Niall asked.

“Why? Did someone just get out of rehab?” Harry asked jokingly.

“We both did actually,” Niall said as he stared Harry down.

“Well fuck me. No, it’s quiet around here. No drug usage from our apartment and I haven’t seen anything going on around us. Damn, I’m so sorry. Me and my big mouth getting me in trouble, I must seem like such an asshole.”

“A little bit, yeah.” Niall glared.

“I’m so sorry. I’m gonna go now,” Harry shook his head and left the apartment.

“Wait,” Zayn followed behind Harry. “It’s okay, Niall is my sponsor and he’s just super serious about helping me out and keeping me on course. It would mean a lot to me and Niall as well if you could keep an eye out for anything going on around here. Maybe just check in on me occasionally as well?”

“Yeah sure, anything to try and make up for my big mouth.”

“I know it’s asking a lot, I just don’t want to go back to that… place… that I used to be in.”

“Absolutely. I’ll tell Louis too. I’ll have to introduce you two soon, Niall too if he’s around when I bring him over. Really though, I’m sorry Zayn.”

Zayn smiled. “It’s okay, just try not to do it again, yeah?”

Harry smiled back, “Deal.”


	5. Unravel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ziam! Fluff and stuff. As always, drop me a line, let me know what you think! Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Liam tossed and turned in his bed unable to get comfortable. He picked up his mobile phone and scrolled through the contacts stopping at Zayn’s number. He looked at the number for a long time going back and forth with his thumb hovering over the call button. Every second his mind changed, to call or not to call. Finally, Liam closed his eyes and hit call hoping that Zayn wasn’t already asleep.

Zayn’s phone rang and he rolled over to look at the alarm clock. It wasn’t as late as he thought. He stood up and walked down the hallway to answer the phone.

“Hello?” Zayn answered.

“Hey,” came Liam’s voice. “I didn’t wake you up did I?”

“No, I just laid down but hadn’t fallen asleep yet. What are you doing?” Zayn asked as he stretched and sat on a stool next to the phone. 

“I don’t know. I kind of just wanted to talk to you; hear your voice I guess.”

Zayn smiled, “That’s cute.”

“Shut up,” Liam laughed.

“Come over,” Zayn said as he nervously picked at a loose thread on the waistband of his sweatpants.

“Right now?” Liam asked in shock.

“Yeah, right now. I would rather talk to you and hear your voice in person.” There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment and Zayn looked worried. “Liam? Are you there?”

“Yeah. Are you sure about me coming over?” Liam asked, sounding weary.

“Yes. Come over.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in a little bit then.”

They hung up and Zayn headed to the couch to wait for Liam to get there. He stretched out on the couch and crossed one leg over the other. He didn’t know what was going on between him and Liam but he didn’t care and wasn’t worried about trying to label it. He liked Liam and as long as Liam liked him back nothing else mattered. There was a knock on the door and Zayn got up to answer it.

“Hi,” Zayn smiled as he opened the door and stepped back so Liam could come in.

“Hi,” Liam smiled back before stepping in and standing there awkwardly.

Zayn closed the door and walked down the hallway shirtless with his sweatpants hanging obscenely from his hips. Liam followed close behind him. Zayn crawled across the bed and flopped down on a pillow as Liam stopped awkwardly by the door.

“Shut off the light and come over here,” Zayn mumbled against the pillow.

Liam turned off the light and slowly made his way to the bed. He sat on the edge with his body angled toward Zayn. There was a palpable awkwardness in the room as Liam sat there with his hands balled in his lap.

“Maybe I should go, you’re tired and I’m keeping you awake.” Liam began to stand up when he felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him onto the bed.

“Damn it Liam, get in my bed right now. If I was tired and didn’t want you here I wouldn’t have said you could come over,” Zayn guided Liam to lie down next to him, “Sometimes you drive me crazy.”

Liam laid down on the bed and Zayn could feel Liam relax a little. Liam shifted around and Zayn smiled as he realized Liam was trying to get comfortable. After a minute and a few frustrated groans Liam stopped moving.

“You good now?” Zayn asked with a smile.

“It’s dark and I can still tell you’re smiling. I can hear it in your voice.” Liam smiled back.

Zayn slowly slid his hand across the space between himself and Liam, testing the waters and judging their distance from each other. His hand ran into Liam’s chest and Zayn smiled. He continued over Liam’s shoulder and down his arm until he found Liam’s hand. He grabbed it and rubbed each of Liam’s knuckles gently with his thumb.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Zayn said. “I mean, I’m glad you’re just here lying next to me. It’s nice.”

Liam sighed and pressed their palms together before interlocking their fingers. The material of the sheets and pillow rustled as Liam moved a little closer to Zayn. 

“I’m glad I’m here too.” Liam blindly moved his free hand and dropped it over Zayn’s waist. He pulled Zayn slightly toward him. “What are you doing to me Zayn Malik?”

“I don’t know; the better question is what are we doing to each other Liam Payne?” Zayn finally closed the distance between them and snuggled his face into the side of Liam’s neck. Liam tightened his pull against Zayn’s waist and smiled. Zayn breathed in and could smell Liam – he couldn’t explain Liam’s scent if he tried, but to him that was more than enough. 

They stayed curled against each other and fell asleep.

\---

A pounding came from the front door waking both Zayn and Liam up. Zayn jumped when he saw Liam lying next to him. 

“Good morning,” Zayn said as he remembered that Liam had come over late last night.

“Hi,” Liam smiled.

Pounding came from the front door again and Zayn groaned before flopping over onto Liam’s chest dramatically. He crawled over Liam, got off the bed and walked down the hall to answer the door. Zayn opened the door and coughed a little.

“Hey Louis.”

“Hey yourself lover boy. What are you doing still asleep?” Louis walked into the kitchen and starting digging around in the cabinets. Harry walked in behind Louis and blew a raspberry on Zayn’s cheek that Zayn rubbed off with a laugh.

“Am I not allowed to sleep in occasionally?” Zayn asked, looking toward the bedroom where he saw Liam’s head peek around the corner of the door frame. Zayn knew there was no way to get Liam out without either of them seeing and he was going to have to face the inquisition at some point. Liam looked at Zayn questioningly and Zayn just shrugged. 

“What are you looking at?” Harry said as he caught Zayn mid-shrug. 

“Hmm? Nothing.” Zayn said, eyes darting back and forth between Louis and Harry.

“Investigate babe,” Louis nodded toward Harry. Harry nodded back and walked toward Zayn.

“What am I going to find?” Harry asked looking straight into Zayn’s eyes before turning his gaze down the hallway. Liam’s head shot back from the doorframe and Harry’s eyebrows shot up as he looked back at Zayn. “No….”

Louis looked at Harry confused before looking at Zayn who was beginning to flush.

“What have you done?” Louis asked.

Harry bolted down the hallway and squealed from Zayn’s room. Louis walked from the kitchen and looked down the hallway just as Harry was behind Liam pushing him toward the living room.

“I found a boy in Zayn’s bedroom!” Harry laughed. “It’s the boy!”

Louis crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Liam. “Is this the booze boy?”

Harry nodded then looked at Liam before crossing his arms across his chest as well. “Yeah, it is.”

Zayn looked at Liam then turned and looked at Harry and Louis before putting two and two together. “Ah… the present.”

Liam’s eyes darted back and forth between all three of them. “Yes, I brought the alcohol as a gift for Zayn, and you stole it.” Liam said as he looked at Harry.

“Let it go boys, everything is fine.” Zayn said as he glared at Harry and Louis begging them to drop the topic. Harry and Louis looked at each other then at Zayn and relaxed reluctantly. “Weren’t you making tea Louis? Get back to it. Guess there’s no sense in hiding it, might as well make four cups.”

Louis retreated into the kitchen without taking his eyes of Liam as much as possible. Harry laughed when Louis bounced off the wall as he entered the kitchen and hit the corner.

Zayn grabbed Liam by the shoulders and pressed his forehead against the back of one of Liam’s shoulders before leading him to the couch and sitting him down. Zayn sat down next to him preparing for the barrage of questions.

Harry sat in an arm chair and his eyes darted back and forth between Liam and Zayn. Liam looked uncomfortable but relaxed as long as he was touching Zayn. Zayn looked annoyed but comfortable sitting next to Liam.

“Can we just get this over with?” Zayn said as he looked at Harry.

“No cross-examining the witness until the defending counsel gets there!” Louis shouted from the kitchen.

“What?” Harry and Zayn asked in unison.

Louis set two cups of tea on the table next to Zayn and handed one to Harry before shoving Harry over so he could sit next to him. “I meant wait for me. Bloody hell you people don’t understand jokes very well.”

“Moving on,” Zayn said as he handed Liam his cup of tea.

One of Louis’ eyebrows rose as he looked at the two of them suspiciously. “What’s your name?”

“Liam,” Liam answered.

“Where do you work?” Louis continued. He took a sip of the tea and leaned down to set it on the floor next to his feet.

“With Zayn at the supermarket.”

“What do you study in school?” Harry asked.

“Music technology,” Liam sighed and handed the cup back to Zayn to put on the side table. Zayn took the cup and frowned a little at Liam before mouthing sorry.

“Why do you like Zayn?” Louis asked.

“I don’t know.” Liam looked at Zayn and his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “He’s the first person that’s ever truly intrigued me. He’s mysterious; most of the girls I’ve dated are pretty transparent.”

“Girls?” Harry choked. “Wait, you’re not gay?”

“No,” Liam shook his head, “I don’t think so.” Liam looked at Harry and Louis then back at Zayn. “Zayn is the first guy I’ve ever liked like this. It’s confusing to me, but at the same time whenever I’m around him at work or hanging out it’s different. I feel more relaxed and happy than I am without him.”

Zayn gave Liam a small smile and blushed. Louis and Harry looked at each other then back at Zayn and Liam. Zayn did look happier than when they met him and they only had two impressions to go off of. One bad when Liam had brought alcohol, the other indifferent when Harry saw Liam leave Zayn’s apartment.

“Have I passed yet?” Liam asked as he turned back to look at Harry and Louis.

“For now, but we’re watching you Liam. We’re very protective of our Zayn.”

“I understand. I won’t do anything to hurt him. I promise.” Liam looked at Zayn and smiled as he slid his arm around Zayn’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

\---

Liam was rolling a ball around on the counter at his register absentmindedly when he heard the sound of markers scribbling from Zayn’s register behind him. He stopped rolling the ball and turned to see what Zayn was doing. Zayn had a pack of sharpie markers open next to his register and was coloring in what he had drawn on a long piece of receipt paper.

“Did you buy those markers young man?” Liam joked.

Zayn looked up at Liam and sighed. He scanned the barcode on the back of the package and put the money in the register before tearing off the receipt and handing it to Liam. “There, proof.”

Liam took the receipt and laughed before handing it back to Zayn. Liam looked over at Zayn’s artwork on the long stretch of receipt paper. There were shapes and abstract lines that Zayn was filling in with bright colors and black sharpie. Liam was impressed and couldn’t help but smile to himself. 

Zayn stopped coloring in a 3D styled block and looked back up at Liam. “If you’re going to stare you could at least tell me what you’re thinking.”

“Huh?” Liam jumped and looked at Zayn. “I’m just admiring the artwork. I’ve seen finished projects of yours but I’ve never seen you actually work on anything.”

“Well, this is the first time in a long time that I’ve worked on anything.” Zayn shrugged. “I think you’re having an effect on me. I don’t know if it’s good or bad but it’s something.” Zayn gave Liam a smirk.

“Oh so someone thinks he’s a smart guy now?” Liam threw the ball at Zayn who caught it laughing and tossed it back to Liam. “There’s that laugh again.” Liam smiled.

“Why do you like my laugh so much?” Zayn asked as he returned to his coloring.

“For so long you were just this person who stood at a register and didn’t talk. You were a mystery to me and now I’ve gotten to know you. I get to see your personality and hear your laugh. It makes me smile to know that you finally opened up enough that you laugh around me.”

Zayn shook his head, switched out the markers, and started to color again. “The reason I never talked to anyone here is because I didn’t want to make friends. I wanted to keep my personal life separate from my work life. I thought if I didn’t talk to anyone that I would be able to keep things the way they were. But, then you come along and change that. And so far you’ve survived my friends.” Zayn looked up and smiled at Liam. “I think I’m happy I let you into my personal life. You aren’t the dick I thought you were.”

“You thought I was a dick?” Liam gasped. “Why would you think that?”

“The first time I walked through your line with Niall you were snippy with me because you thought I was going to complain about you to the manager.” Zayn looked at the receipt paper and did a few touch ups with the black to make sure lines were clean and the shadows were right. “I thought that was just your personality all the time.” Zayn shrugged and held up the paper so Liam could see. “What do you think?”

Liam looked at the paper and was very impressed. The colors and the black offset each other and made everything look brighter than they would have otherwise. “Has your opinion changed about me?”

Zayn looked at Liam and raised an eyebrow at him. “Of course it has. I don’t let just anyone sleep in my bed. Now answer my question.” Zayn shook the paper at Liam.

“I love it.” Liam smiled.

“Good, I was thinking you could cut it into a couple of pieces and paste it on a black piece of paper to use for your CD cover. It would be kind of a disjointed look but still cohesive if you put the pieces back together. Arrange them so you have enough of a black space somewhere that you can put your name and the title of the CD in the open space. What do you think?” Zayn asked.

Liam shook his head with his mouth open and smiled. “You never cease to impress me Zayn.”

“Oh please,” Zayn shook his head and rolled the paper up then set it next to his register. “Now you just have to finish your tracks and come up with a name. Any ideas?”

Liam frowned and looked away from Zayn. “I still have a few tracks I need to do. But, you finished my cover for me so that’s another huge step toward being done.” Liam smiled.

“How many tracks do you have left?” Zayn asked as he leaned back against the register and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Just two. I have a regular track and my conduction performance. Shit! My conduction performance!” Liam slapped his palm to his forehead and groaned. “It’s coming up.”

“Soon?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah, and it’s super formal. There are a bunch of students doing conduction and the orchestra is one of the best around. If there are any mistakes it’s going to be on us, not them.”

“What do you mean super formal?” Zayn laughed. “Tuxes and stuff?”

“Close. It’s black tie.” Liam wiped his hand across his forehead. “I need to make sure that I have all of my clothes cleaned and ironed.”

“You have specific clothes for this performance?” Zayn asked.

“Yes, I’ve had to go to them through my whole degree program as part of the required assignments. We were told to invest in one at the beginning because we would be wearing it quite a few times. I have two because one is a little small now.”

“Two?” Zayn laughed.

“Yeah. Hey, I know it’s weird to be asking but would you want to come with me to the performance?” Liam asked. “It’s long and boring but you could keep me company. I’m only conducting for maybe ten minutes.”

“Are you asking me to go as your date?” Zayn smirked.

Liam laughed. “Yes, I guess I am.” 

Zayn shrugged. “I guess I’m honored to go with you.”

“You can wear my other suit if it fits, otherwise I’ll pay for you to rent one.”

“I can afford to pay for my own if I can’t fit into yours,” Zayn laughed.

“Ten minutes, the rest of the night I’m all yours,” Liam winked.

\---

“I look absolutely ridiculous,” Zayn said as he turned around and looked at himself in Liam’s bathroom mirror with Liam eyeing him.

“It fits! That’s all that matters,” Liam smiled and patted Zayn on the back.

“I feel like I’m choking with this bow tie. Can’t I wear just a regular necktie?”

Liam shrugged. “I guess. I wear a regular necktie.” Liam disappeared into his bedroom and came back with a black tie and wrapped it around Zayn’s neck. His fingers nimbly manipulated the material into the perfect Windsor knot. “There.” Liam smoothed out the jacket and adjusted the tie before taking a step back and letting Zayn look.

Zayn’s eyes widened when he saw how much of a difference the regular necktie made to the look. Zayn looked down and brushed his hands over the jacket and down the pants before moving his feet around in the shiny black dress shoes. Everything fit really well and Zayn couldn’t help but smile. He was wearing Liam’s clothes and going to an important event with him.

Liam smirked at Zayn and grabbed the necktie. He pulled Zayn close to him and pressed his lips to Zayn’s taking his breath by surprise. Liam smiled against Zayn’s lips and he could feel Zayn smile back before their mouths fell into their usual rhythm. Zayn grabbed Liam’s waist and hoisted him up so Liam had his legs wrapped around Zayn’s waist. Zayn traveled the short distance to the sink and set Liam on the edge. Liam moaned as he wrapped his arms around Zayn’s shoulders. 

Liam’s tongue dug deeper into Zayn’s mouth, he wanted as much of Zayn as he could get. Zayn responded with a moan of his own as his fingers dug into Liam’s hips. Liam slid closer with Zayn standing between his legs and pushed against his hips. Zayn pushed forward against Liam. He could feel Liam’s erection pressing against his stomach and he laughed. 

“What’s so funny?”

“You’re hard already,” Zayn smiled.

Liam reached his hand down and grabbed Zayn’s erection through the material of the trousers. “You’re already hard too sir.” Liam grabbed the back of Zayn’s head and pulled him back into a deeper kiss.

Zayn pushed Liam until Liam’s back pressed against the mirror on the wall. Liam leaned his head back on the mirror and moaned with his eyes closed as Zayn kissed down the side of his neck then moved to the base of his throat before sucking a spot onto Liam’s collarbone. 

“Nowhere visible. I have to look presentable,” Liam groaned.

“Oh,” Zayn pulled the v-neck shirt further down and sucked another spot onto Liam’s chest. “Guess this will have to do then.”

Liam’s fingers scratched down the fabric covering Zayn’s back before resting on his ass and digging into the tightening muscles. Liam pulled Zayn closer between his legs as he bucked his hips up and ground his erection onto Zayn’s stomach. 

“Shit Liam, we need to stop,” Zayn said as he dropped his head onto Liam’s shoulder. “We’re going to end up making a mess of the suit and then I won’t be able to wear it.”

Liam sighed and tried to catch his breath. “You’re right. We’ve got time to do this later.”

Zayn shook his head against Liam’s shoulder and Liam laughed as he reached up to smooth the hair at the back of Zayn’s head. He turned his head and pressed a kiss against Zayn’s temple.

\---

Zayn stepped out of the apartment just as Harry and Louis were leaving theirs.

“What the hell is this? Where are you going all dressed up?” Louis asked.

“Liam’s conduction performance is tonight and he asked me to go with him. It’s black tie though so I had to borrow one of his suits.”

“One of his suits? How many does he have?” Harry asked with a shocked look on his face.

“Two. He said this one is too small for him now so he told me to try it on and I could wear it tonight if it fit. It does so I don’t have to go rent or buy one.” Zayn smiled and looked down at the watch he decided to wear for the occasion. “I have to go though, Liam’s waiting downstairs. Goodnight boys!” Zayn winked.

“Goodnight,” they said in unison as they watched Zayn disappear down the stairwell.

“He’s taking him to fancy events,” Louis noted.

“Isn’t that romantic?” Harry cooed as he grabbed Louis arm and rubbed his cheek against Louis shoulder.

“You realize they’re both straight right?” 

“Neither one of them is as straight as they say they are. You may have dated girls in the past but you’re making out with boys and sleeping in the same bed now. You’re at least a little bi.” Harry explained. “Let them be, Zayn seems genuinely happy for the first time since he’s moved in.”

Louis sighed, “I just don’t want him hurt Hazzah.”

“I know Lou, I don’t either.”

\---

Liam held the door open for Zayn to walk into the concert hall. Liam smiled back as Zayn smiled at him. “You look really good in that suit mister.”

Zayn laughed, “Oh this old thing?”

“There’s that laugh again,” Liam and Zayn said in unison.

Liam shook his head and stealthily smacked Zayn on the butt which made Zayn laugh even more. Liam smiled and put a hand on Zayn’s shoulder to steer him in one direction. Liam looked around to try to find his professor as Zayn watched the orchestra setting up and doing sound checks on stage. 

“Stay here, I’ll be right back. I just need to check in,” Liam smiled as he gave Zayn’s shoulder a squeeze and headed off into the crowd of people.

Zayn looked around in surprise by the layout. It wasn’t a traditional concert hall. There were large round tables with black tablecloths set up all across the floor where people had already begun sitting. A pitcher of water and glasses had been set out for each place at the table. In the front was a raised stage with a rostrum in front of the orchestra. Behind the orchestra heavy black velvet drapes hung bunched together like an accordion. 

“Good news or bad news?” Liam walked up next to Zayn.

“What?” Zayn asked looking at Liam.

“Do you want the good news first or the bad news first?”

“Bad news,” Zayn said as he raised an eyebrow at Liam.

“Bad news? Really?”

“Yes bad news, because then the good news will make the bad news not seem as bad,” Zayn smiled.

“Alright Confucius, the good news is I’m going third.”

Zayn nodded. “And the bad news?”

“The bad news is… I’m going third.”

Zayn looked at Liam and shook his head, “I don’t get it. How is that the good news and the bad news?”

“The good news is that I’m going third instead of further toward the end. The bad news is that it’s going to be about 20 to 30 minutes before I even go on depending on the emcees and the conductors before me.”

“Ah. Well, that just means that I have 20 to 30 minutes to spend with you before you go on stage and leave me with strangers for 10 minutes. Good news.” Zayn smiled.

Liam smiled at Zayn before wrapping an arm around his shoulder and leading him off to a table. “We have assigned seats because the conductors have to be able to get to the stage quickly, but they also don’t want us at the edges because of handicap seating. So…” Liam gave an overly dramatic flourish of his arm and waved at the table “…your seat kind sir.”

Zayn shook his head and sat down at the table before scooting his chair in as Liam sat down next to him. Liam grabbed the water pitcher and pour water into a glass for himself before looking at Zayn and nodding to a glass. Zayn nodded and Liam filled the glass with water for him before putting the pitcher back down in the center of the table. 

There were 4 other people sitting at the table with them talking amongst each other about galas and fundraisers, charities and silent auctions. Zayn shook his head as it brought back a lot of memories. Liam faked a cough and Zayn looked up at him.

“You okay?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just reminiscing about some stuff from a long time ago.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“My parents are pretty wealthy. I mean, I don’t see my dad but my mom is wealthy. I used to go to these events all the time, forced to go to them really. But, it was the only way I could keep getting my astronomical allowance.” Zayn’s eyes darkened. He shook his head and pasted a smile on his face for Liam. “And here I am, choosing to come to one. What are you doing to me Liam Payne?”

“Instilling some culture into you hopefully,” Liam laughed.

“You’re forgetting I was an art major thank you very much.”

“Was.”

Zayn shot him an evil look and Liam laughed. The people around the table all looked at them but Liam smiled and nodded to them and they resumed their conversations. “I’ll get you back for that, you better watch it.”

“Bring it on,” Liam smiled.

“What song are you conducting tonight? I forgot to ask you that before.” Zayn messed with the sleeve of the suit jacket as he waited for Liam’s response.

“'A Dark Knight' from 'The Dark Knight' soundtrack by Hans Zimmer, of course.” Liam grinned.

“Of course,” Zayn chuckled. “Wait… are you allowed to do contemporary pieces? I thought all these black tie things had to be classical pieces like Vivaldi or Beethoven.”

“Usually people pick pieces like that. But, Batman is my favorite superhero and it’s the arrangement is all orchestra so I figure why not? Time for a little something different right?”

“You’re awesome,” Zayn laughed. Liam smiled and it only made Zayn laugh more. He reached over and squeezed Liam’s knee.

“Well you’re not so bad yourself Zayn.”

The emcees introduced the first conductor and everyone clapped. Zayn looked at Liam and looked back at the stage before smirking.

“What?” Liam asked as he spotted Zayn out of the corner of his eye. He picked up his water glass and started to take a drink.

“I was thinking,” Zayn said, still with the smirk on his face. He slid his hand up Liam’s thigh and Liam choked on the water. “You started something earlier and I figured out how I’m going to get you back for being a smartass.” Zayn whispered low enough that only he and Liam could hear.

“People will see,” Liam coughed as he set his glass back on the table.

Zayn lifted the tablecloth and let it fall so it was covering Liam’s lap and most of Zayn’s arm. Zayn shrugged and Liam’s eyes widened. Zayn’s hand wandered further up the inside of Liam’s thigh and Liam held his breath. Zayn smiled and turned his attention to the conductor and the orchestra as his hand grabbed Liam’s crotch and began to massage it. Zayn wasn’t going to give Liam eye contact. Liam’s mouth dropped open like he couldn’t believe this was the same Zayn he knew. 

Zayn’s hand grabbed Liam’s cock and arranged it pointing down Liam’s leg so he had better access. He moved slowly up and down the shaft feeling it through the fabric of Liam’s pants. He could hear Liam’s breath catch every once in a while and he could tell Liam was trying to not get the attention of anyone else around them. Zayn took his thumb and rubbed it over the tip before tightening his grip and sliding back down the shaft. Zayn let go and moved his hand back to the bulge in Liam’s pants slightly massaging Liam’s balls. Liam twitched in his seat and the lady to his right made eye contact with him.

“My leg fell asleep,” Liam blushed. The lady raised her eyebrow at him but turned forward and continued to watch the performance. Zayn laughed but continued his quest.

When the first conductor ended Zayn took his hand from under the table and began to clap before looking over at Liam and winking. Liam’s jaw dropped and he shook his head at this new side of Zayn he was seeing.

When the second conductor began her performance of “The Storm” by Vivaldi Zayn stealthily and casually slipped his hand back under the tablecloth and continued to rub Liam’s cock. Zayn picked up the rhythm, up and down the shaft, playing with the head of Liam’s cock, then back down. Liam’s face began to blush and his breath began quivering. Zayn laid the heel of his palm on Liam’s cock and his fingers against Liam’s thigh before he began to massage them both. Zayn made eye contact with Liam, the crescendo of “The Storm” rose, and Liam gasped as he came. With one shot after the other Liam’s knee jerked up and hit the table knocking over his water glass as well as Zayn’s. 

“His favorite part of the piece,” Zayn smiled as the rest of the table turned their attention to Liam. “He loves Vivaldi.”

Liam grabbed a napkin and began to soak up the water he had spilled on the table. Zayn tried to hold back a laugh as Liam looked both embarrassed and turned on at the same time. When Liam stood up Zayn laughed when he noticed the wet spot from the come on Liam’s leg.

“Hey Liam,” Zayn smirked as he pointed to Liam’s leg.

“Shit,” Liam said as he looked down at the wet spot. 

The audience began to clap as the second conductor finished her piece. Liam looked around at the audience and Zayn looked up at Liam in realization

The emcee was at the podium to the side of the stage. “Next up we have Liam Payne, senior conductor graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in Music Technology and a minor in Song Writing.” 

“Double shit,” Zayn apologized.


	6. Old Haunts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Life. Comment, kudos, enjoy! :)

“I’m sorry,” Zayn said to Liam. He had gotten caught up in the moment and hadn’t realized the timing.

Liam sighed and shook his head. “I should be so pissed at you.” Liam put his arm around Zayn’s shoulders and pulled him closer to him, Zayn leaned into Liam’s side. “However, I finished my conduction track, got compliments from quite a few people including my final project supervisor, and this really hot guy gave me a hand job underneath a table surrounded by a bunch of people. I think I’ll cut my losses and call it a good night.” Liam smiled.

“I’m still sorry, but I’m glad you had a good night. I’m glad you invited me.”

Liam stopped Zayn in the middle of the parking lot and grabbed both sides of Zayn’s face between his hands. “Zayn, don’t apologize. If you need to hear me say it, I forgive you.” Zayn nodded and Liam leaned forward and kissed him.

“Um… Liam we’re still in public.” Zayn pointed out.

Liam looked around and blushed before pulling Zayn back under his arm and Zayn laughed before leaning back into Liam’s side.

“Hey, I’m not going to be at work tomorrow, Sophia and I are going to be in the studio. I told her I would help her with some of her track tuning. Hopefully I’ll be able to get my final track started.” Liam looked at Zayn to gauge his reaction.

Zayn frowned a little before looking up at Liam and smiling. “Final track huh?”

“Yes, finally.” Liam sighed as they got to his car. “Then it’s time to put everything together and turn it in.”

Zayn got in the car and smiled. “I know that we haven’t really known each other for very long but I’m proud of you.” Liam smiled and Zayn smiled back. “Anyone who follows through on their dream and accomplishes it deserves that recognition.”

“Thank you,” Liam smiled.

Liam pulled up outside Zayn’s complex and looked at Zayn. Zayn looked away with a bashful smile then turned back to face Liam.

“Oh, I’ll have your suit dry cleaned and I’ll give it back to you,” Zayn said as he looked down at Liam’s suit.

“Zayn, I’m not worried about it. You can give it back to me whenever… or keep it.” Liam smiled.

Zayn’s mouth dropped slightly as he looked at Liam. Liam was blushing. Zayn smiled and leaned across the space between them. He reached his hand up and turned Liam’s face toward him. Zayn gave Liam a small smile before kissing him. He could feel Liam smile against his lips before kissing Zayn back. It made Zayn smile even more.

“Thank you for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming with me.”

“Of course,” Zayn smiled. He gave Liam another quick kiss and got out of the car. He went inside and glanced back. Liam was still sitting at the curb watching Zayn as he went inside the building. Zayn laughed and gave Liam a small wave. Liam returned the wave and drove away.

\---

Zayn stood at his cash register and flipped through a magazine while he waited for closing time. The cashier that was covering Liam’s shift was this guy named Josh who was constantly drumming on everything around him. He was nice but Zayn was getting tired of hearing excruciatingly long drum solos of fingers pounding against the wood of the checkout counter.

The sliding doors opened and Zayn put the magazine back on the rack. When he turned around Liam was standing right behind him leaning against the register with a smile on his face.

“Hi,” Zayn couldn’t help but grin.

“Hi.” Liam smiled back.

“I thought you were going to be in the studio tonight.”

“I was going to but I got tired of being cooped up in that studio so I told Sophia that I was going to get dinner.”

“You came to work to get dinner?” Zayn frowned.

“No, I came to work to get you.” Liam smiled and flipped the light of Zayn’s register off before grabbing his hand and dragging him to the manager’s office.

Zayn looked confused as Liam opened the manager’s door and pushed Zayn in. Zayn stumbled to a stop and looked at the manager sitting in the rolling chair in front of him.

“Apparently, Liam thinks he needs you for something important. It’s been slow and I think Mr. Devine can handle it out there on his own.” The manager raised an eyebrow at Liam then at Zayn. “If you wish, though I highly recommend against going with this hooligan, you can leave for the night.”

Zayn smirked and clocked out of work. He grabbed his jacket and followed Liam back into the store. Liam smiled and bounced like a little kid.

“Bye JD, thanks buddy!” Liam called out and gave a wave to the boy covering Liam’s shift.

“Wait, where are you going?” Josh asked Zayn.

“He said that you could handle it, Liam’s my ride home.”

Josh opened his mouth to say something but closed it and shrugged. Liam grabbed Zayn by the shoulders and steered him out of the store. They got in Liam’s car and started driving toward the school.

“I’m going to get take away for me and Sophia. Do you want anything?”

Zayn thought for a second, “Yeah, maybe I’ll pick something up wherever you go.”

“Fish and chips, Sophia’s request of course.”

Zayn smiled, “Of course.”

“I can stop somewhere else and you can get something different if you want.”

“No, fish and chips are fine.” Zayn looked at Liam and smiled. “You would stop somewhere else just to get me something different?”

Liam blushed. “Yeah. I would.”

Zayn smiled, “What’s your middle name?”

Liam looked out of the corner of his eye at Zayn with an eyebrow raised. “James. Why?”

“Liam James…” Zayn tested it out, “Well Liam James, I think I like you.”

Liam laughed, before he turned and smiled at Zayn, “I’m pretty sure I like you too. Now let’s get some food so I can get back to work. Do you want to come to the studio for a bit before I take you home?”

“Sure, can I just borrow your mobile so I can let the boys know I’ll come tell them when I’m home?”

“Yeah, of course.” Liam handed the phone to Zayn as they pulled up outside the shop. “I can order for you while you call if you want?”

“Yeah, here let me give you money for mine.” Zayn reached into his pocket but Liam closed the door and walked into the store looking over his shoulder at Zayn with a smile.

\---

“Liam?” Zayn asked from across the aisle.

“What?” Liam asked as he looked up from the magazine he was flipping through.

“I was thinking, we’ve been hanging out a lot and… other stuff.” Zayn blushed and Liam laughed. “But, can we go on a real date? Like, the real way?”

Liam gave Zayn a small smile and his eyes lit up. “Are you asking me out on a real date?”

“Yeah, I guess I am,” Zayn blushed.

“Yeah, of course.” Liam nodded. “Let’s start over and do things the way that we’re supposed to do them.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the way that we did things,” Zayn said as he pointed at Liam. “Besides, you’re the one that started that trend.”

“I’m not the one who made the last move!” Liam faked offense.

“That’s why I want to do things the right way. You’re the first guy, you know? I don’t know how it all works.”

Liam shrugged. “You’re the first guy too; I don’t know how any of this works either. I just know that you make me happy, so we’ll figure it out together yeah?”

“Yeah,” Zayn smiled.

“Can I pick the place?” Liam asked.

“Yeah,” Zayn said wearily. “Should I trust you?”

“Of course you should!”

“No bars.”

Liam raised an eyebrow. “No bars.”

The next night Zayn walked downstairs wearing a white shirt, blue slouchy beanie and scarf covered by a black leather jacket. Liam had told him to dress warm so this was finally what Zayn had decided on wearing. When he got into Liam’s car he saw Liam was wearing a green shirt and scarf and a black leather jacket. Zayn tried to hide a smile as he looked away from Liam.

“What?” Liam asked.

“A black leather jacket? Isn’t that more my style?” Zayn laughed.

“Oh shut up,” Liam smiled.

They drove for a while before Zayn started to recognize the area they were headed into. Zayn frowned and looked at Liam.

“Where are we going?” Zayn asked him.

“This place I know, has really good chicken. Are you alright with eating outside?”

Zayn looked outside again and frowned. He decided to not say anything. He was here with Liam and that would be enough of a distraction to keep him from having a problem.

“Everything okay?” Liam asked, looking concerned.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” Zayn put on a fake smile.

They walked into a restaurant and they were led to a small table outside on a patio. Zayn sat with his back to the restaurant uncomfortably until Liam sat down.

“Can I get you guys something to drink while you wait for your waitress?”

“Can I get tea with lemon?” Zayn asked.

Liam looked at Zayn and slowly looked at the waitress. “Tea with lemon too thanks.”

As the waitress smiled and walked away Liam slid his chair closer to Zayn’s so that their elbows were touching. Zayn looked at their elbows then up and Liam’s face and felt a genuine smile spread across his face. Being near Liam was enough to distract Zayn from most of the thoughts running through his head.

“Have you been here before?” Liam asked.

“Uh… kinda.” Zayn said cautiously.

“You have?” Liam asked, looking surprised.

A blonde waitress walked up and interrupted their conversation. “My name is…” the waitress stopped and Zayn looked up with a grimace. “…Zayn?”

Liam looked from the waitress to Zayn then back to the waitress.

“Hi Perrie.”

“You know each other?” Liam asked.

“Liam, this is Perrie... my exgirlfriend. Perrie this is…” Zayn looked at Liam who was sitting there with a confused look plastered on his face. “Perrie this is my boyfriend Liam.” Both Liam and Perrie’s eyes shot toward Zayn.

“Your what?” Perrie asked.

“Boyfriend?” Liam asked.

Zayn blushed and nodded at Liam before looking at Perrie. “This is my boyfriend Liam.”

Perrie nodded slowly as she looked between them before she became awkward. “Can I take your guys’ order or do you need another minute?”

Zayn looked at Perrie and then at Liam. Liam shrugged, “I’m ready.”

Perrie took their order and disappeared into the restaurant. As soon as she was gone Liam looked at Zayn. “Is this why you looked so upset about coming here?”

“Yeah, I used to work here too. This is where I met Perrie. She looks different though.”

“Different good or different bad?” Liam asked as Zayn’s eyes softened.

“Different better,” Zayn said before looking at Liam again. Zayn sighed and smiled, “Is it okay that I said you were my boyfriend?”

“Nope, I’m totally your boyfriend now.” Liam smiled.

Zayn laughed and they both smiled.

A waiter came out with their food and Zayn closed his eyes in frustration. The waiter smiled when he saw Zayn and he set their food down on the table.

“Hey Zayn!” the guy said excitedly. “You look really good! How’ve you been?”

Zayn shifted uncomfortably before he smiled at the waiter. “Hey, where did Perrie go?” Zayn asked as Liam took a drink of the tea.

The waiter hesitated for a second before he scooted closer to the table. “She asked me if I could bring the food out to you. She said that you were here with a guy,” the waiter gave a small wave to Liam which Liam returned back with an awkward look, “and that she didn’t think she could come out here again. So she gave me your table. Is that alright?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I just wish she wasn’t being awkward about it.”

“Well, it’s Perrie. She’s awkward about everything.” The waiter looked toward Liam and Zayn caught his eyes.

“Oh, Andy this is my boyfriend Liam. Liam this is Andy.” Zayn made the introductions and Liam smiled at Andy.

“Ah,” Andy nodded his head. “Now I understand.” Andy looked at Liam and smiled. “Nice to meet you Liam. Take care of Zayn or I’ll come find you and kick your ass.”

Liam laughed, “You’re not the only one, trust me.”

Andy smiled, “If you two need anything else just let me know. By the way, if you feel compelled to give me a huge tip I won’t stop you. It’s going to me anyway, not her.” Andy winked and disappeared into a restaurant. Zayn smiled and Liam laughed.

Zayn relaxed immensely after Andy had become their server. He and Liam settled into their comfortable banter and whenever Andy came by to check on them he was extremely nice. Every once in a while he would see Perrie pass their table and Zayn would make eye contact with her; she would look away as soon as she realized he was looking back before disappearing into the restaurant. Zayn sighed but everything else about his and Liam’s first date was perfect.

\---

"Josh is covering my shift again tonight. I'm going to be working on my final track in the studio." Liam said to Zayn as they sat on Zayn's couch shoulder to shoulder watching The Dark Knight together.

"Geez, you might as well switch to day shift if you're going to keep having Josh take your shifts at night."

Liam elbowed Zayn in the ribs with a smirk. Zayn groaned and curled into Liam. 

"I'm almost done though! So close!"

Zayn nodded and then gasped. "Shit, I have a meeting tonight that I forgot about. I'm going to have to call and see if someone else can cover my shift."

Liam scrunched his eyebrows together and shifted to look at Zayn's face. "A meeting at night?"

Zayn shifted uncomfortably and nodded, "Yeah, I... I forgot about it."

"Do you need a ride? I can put the studio off for another night or I can just head in later."

"No!" Zayn snapped quickly. "I mean, Harry and Louis are taking me and I don't want you to miss another night of work because of me. It's okay." Zayn smiled and pressed a kiss against Liam's cheek. "Thank you though."

"Okay, if you change your mind let me know." Liam smiled, unconvinced by Zayn's explanation.

\---

“You’re going to have to tell him sooner or later Zayn. You can’t keep him in the dark about this. It’s not fair to either of you,” Louis said as he looked at Zayn through the rear view mirror.

“I know, but I don’t want him to think less of me.”

“Babe, if he really likes you he won’t think less of you. You have to tell him.” Louis said again, Harry nodded in agreement as they pulled up in front of the Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Niall stood leaning against his car waiting for the three of them.

“Took you long enough,” Niall shook his head as he threw his arm over Zayn’s shoulder. “Are you ready for this?”

Zayn sighed and looked down at his hands. “I don’t know. Do you think I am?” 

“Zayn, you’re more ready than I was at this point.” Niall steered Zayn through the door and into the meeting room with Louis and Harry close behind.

They sat toward the back of the room and waited through the meeting. At the end the leader stood up and headed to the front with something in his hand. He smiled when he saw Zayn. “Tonight, we have a special occasion. Tonight one of our own, Zayn, gets his 6 month chip.” The room burst into applause followed by Niall, Harry, and Louis’ burst of cheers and whistles. Zayn blushed as he headed to the front to the leader.

Zayn and the leader shook hands before the leader handed Zayn his chip and told him congratulations. Zayn smiled and began to walk toward the back of the room to sit with Niall, Harry, and Louis. Niall hugged him followed by Harry and Louis before they all sat down. When the meeting was over Zayn tried to bolt for the door but was trapped by congratulations and handshakes, asking him for advice and how he’s managed. Zayn did his best to give them any advice he could but he didn’t feel qualified to tell them anything. He kept looking at Niall and “Use your sponsor, they’re your greatest resource” became his standard answer.

Niall followed them all home and they had a celebration in his apartment, complete with take away and movies playing in the background, forgotten by conversation and stories of what had been going on recently. 

“You haven’t let that chip out of your hand since you got it,” Louis laughed.

Zayn looked down in his hand to see the chip between his fingers; he had been absentmindedly rubbing it like a good luck charm. Zayn shoved it back in his pocket. “Sorry, I just can’t believe that I actually made it this far. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long.”

“It has, and you’ve done amazing,” Niall said before tossing popcorn in the air and catching it in his mouth with a proud grin. “Next step, tell your boyfriend.”

Zayn groaned and looked at Harry and Louis. Harry punched Louis while Louis faked innocence. 

“You really do need to tell him Zayn. He needs to know, and I think he’ll be able to understand you better. You won’t have to hide this part from him anymore.” Niall continued.

“And, you won’t have to worry about him getting upset when you turn him down when he asks you to go to the clubs with him for his research for his degree.” Harry nodded. 

“What if he’s not okay with it? What if he runs?” Zayn looked down and somehow the chip made it back between his fingers, his thumb rubbing the edges of the wooden circle.

“If he runs then he wasn’t the one for you.” Niall said seriously.

“Things will be awkward at work,” Zayn sighed as he dropped down onto the arm of the couch.

“Then switch to day shifts,” Louis suggested. “We’ll find a way to make it work.”

“Why are you guys making it sound like Liam is going to run? Zayn is doing everything he can to change his life for the better. Liam will appreciate that and accept it. Guaranteed.” Harry said.

“Always the romantic.” Louis smiled.

Louis mobile started ringing and his eyebrows drew together. He looked around the room and silently counted. “Everyone that calls me is here. Who’s calling?” Louis looked down at the caller ID and looked even more confused. “It’s Liam.”

Zayn raised an eyebrow before grabbing for Louis phone. “Hello?”

It wasn’t Liam, it was Sophia. It was loud in the background and he could barely hear her.

“Zayn?” Sophia shouted.

“Yeah, Sophia. What’s up?”

“It’s Liam. They took him to the hospital.”

Zayn’s face drained of color and the other boys stared at him.

“Where?” Zayn asked.

“Zayn I don’t know what happened. They took him downtown.”

Zayn threw the phone on the couch and bolted for the door. He grabbed the keys from the bowl by the front door and was down the hall before his Narcotics Anonymous chip rolled across the floor and stopped as it hit Niall’s foot.


	7. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The short but hopefully triumphant return! We're not done yet people, there are at least 2 more chapters left.

“Where is he?” Zayn demanded as he rounded the corner and came face to face with Sophia.

“He’s in the room.” Sophia wiped at her puffy red eyes.

“What happened?” Zayn asked as he let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“I don’t know, we were at…” Sophia started but the phone in her hand started ringing. She looked down at it before holding it out to Zayn. “It’s Louis.”

Zayn took the phone he recognized as Liam’s and answered it. “Hello?”

“What the fuck Zayn Malik?” Louis shouted through the phone.

“Liam’s in the hospital,” Zayn explained.

The phone went silent and Zayn had to look at the screen to make sure they hadn’t been disconnected.

“You took my car keys and left without saying anything Zayn,” Louis said carefully. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Is he okay?”

“I don’t know,” Zayn’s voice caught in his throat.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“Zayn, what do you know?”

Zayn looked around the hospital hallway and saw nurses walking back and forth down the hallways, Sophia looking at him through her puffy red eyes as she bit on her nail nervously. He spotted the doorway to Liam’s hospital room and froze. 

“They were somewhere loud, something happened to Liam, and they brought him to the hospital. I’m standing in the hallway outside his room and I’m afraid to go in. Louis,” Zayn felt tears well up in his eyes. “…shit, Lou. I’m scared.”

“We’re on our way Zayn. Sit down, breathe. You can wait to go in until one of us gets there if you want. Talk to Sophia. Find out what happened.”

“Yeah,” Zayn sighed. “Okay. But hurry Lou, please.”

“I will babe, just hold on.” Louis hung up and Zayn slid Liam’s phone into his pocket.

Zayn looked at Sophia and she started crying again. “What?”

“We went to a club to celebrate and we were at the bar. One of Liam’s friends came up and we were all talking. His friend handed him a pill and Liam took it. He looked fine and then he just collapsed.” 

Zayn’s blood rushed through his body but he couldn’t tell if it was anger or fear. Liam had done exactly what Zayn was trying to escape from. “What was it Sophia?” Zayn’s hands fisted at his side and he had to remind himself to breathe.

“I don’t know.” Sophia rubbed the back of her head.

“Sophia, what was it?” Zayn demanded.

“Ecstasy.”

“It wasn’t X Sophia, you don’t black out from taking X.”

“That’s the only thing that Liam ever does. It’s really common at raves and the clubs we go to when we’re doing our research or celebrating.”

“It’s not common for everyone to take ecstasy Sophia. It’s stupid.” Zayn shook his head and started for Liam’s door. He put his hand on the knob and turned, not sure if he really should be walking in with the way he was feeling.

As soon as Zayn saw Liam laying in the bed his breath caught in his chest and he felt a tear slide down his face. He quickly reached up and wiped it away. He walked to Liam’s bedside and looked down at Liam under the covers with an IV in his arm and an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. The heart monitor was beeping steadily and Zayn reached down and squeezed Liam’s shoulder.

“I hate you so much right now,” Zayn said quietly. “You’re exactly what I should have stayed away from. You get me all hooked on you, just another addiction, and then comes the crash.”

Liam moved a little and his eyes slowly opened to face Zayn. Liam’s expression dropped into one of embarrassment. He reached up and pulled the mask away from his face. “A little excessive don’t you think?” Liam’s voice was quiet and raspy.

“You’re going to need to be hooked up to more machines when I beat the shit out of you Liam James Payne.”

“Woah, full name.” Liam frowned.

“What the fuck were you thinking? X Liam, really?” Zayn asked, feeling his face flush with anger.

“Sophia?”

“Yes Sophia. God damnit Liam.” Zayn walked away from Liam’s bed and ran both of his hands through his hair. “You know, I told myself from the beginning that I didn’t want to get involved with anyone outside of work. As soon as I opened the glove box and found all the wrist bands from the clubs you’ve gone to I should have walked away.”

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little bit Zayn?” Liam asked, becoming defensive.

Zayn spun and shot a look of pure rage at Liam. “Overreacting? Liam, you’re in a fucking hospital bed because you took ecstasy at a club and passed out.” Zayn growled and pushed a chair into the corner.

“I made a mistake, I know that. But I’m alright, it won’t happen again.”

“Liam, that’s the same excuse that I used a million times. ‘It was just once’, ‘It was hot in there and I got dehydrated’, ‘I don’t know what happened, someone must have slipped something into my drink’. They’re all bullshit excuses trying to cover up for the stupidity of your actions.”

“Wait, what?” Liam’s face paled and he looked at Zayn.

“Do you know what I was doing while you were out celebrating with Sophia? I was at home, with Niall and Harry and Louis, celebrating getting my 6 months sober chip from Narcotics Anonymous.”

“Fuck,” Liam exhaled.

“Yeah, fuck.” Zayn flopped down into the chair in the corner by the end of Liam’s bed. Zayn caught movement out of the corner of his eye and he saw Louis’ head appear by the window. Zayn gasped and looked at Liam. “You were at the club and you got dehydrated. You did not take drugs and you don’t know what happened. You got me?”

Liam looked nervously at Zayn and nodded. “Got it.”

Louis came in the door followed quickly by Harry and Niall. All three of them hugged Zayn before turning to face Liam.

“What’d you do lover boy?” Louis asked as he held onto Zayn’s waist.

“Sophia and I went to the club to celebrate and I blacked out.” Liam looked at Zayn before continuing. “I woke up with people surrounding me and loading me into the back of an ambulance. I passed out again and woke up in here.” Liam lifted up his arm with the IV in it and shook it a little bit. “Guess I was dehydrated. We were in the studio finishing my project and I don’t remember having any water all afternoon.”

Louis looked at Zayn and sighed, “You know that you had him terrified out of his mind right?” Louis looked at Liam. “Bolted out the door of the apartment, went grand theft auto with my car, and didn’t even tell us where he was going.”

Liam frowned. “I’m so sorry you guys. It was so stupid. I should have paid more attention.”

“Damn straight you should have,” Louis said. Louis kissed Zayn on the cheek and let him go before corralling the rest of the boys toward the door. “Zayn keep the car for tonight, Liam you’re going home with Zayn so he can keep an eye on you, the rest of us are going home.”

Niall waited until Louis and Harry left the room and the door closed before he made his way to Liam’s bed next to Zayn. He looked at Zayn, “Did you tell him?”

Zayn nodded.

“Do not tell the other two about this.” Niall told Zayn before looking at Liam. “And you, arsehole. Do not put Zayn in this position. That’s not something he needs to deal with and it’s not a road that I want either of you to go down. Get your shit together. I like you, and you make him happy. But if you hurt him and make him watch you destroy yourself I will kick your ass and make sure you wind up back in a hospital bed. Got it?”

“Got it,” Liam said, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Niall ruffled Liam’s hair before giving Zayn a quick kiss on the cheek and heading for the door. “Goodnight boys.”

\---

Zayn opened the door to his apartment and set the keys on the table by the front door. Someone had set his NA chip on the table. Liam followed Zayn in with his school bag over his shoulder. Zayn walked into the kitchen as Liam set his bag down by the end of the couch. Liam sat down on the couch and reached over to pick up the chip.

Zayn returned from the kitchen and handed a bottle of water to Liam before sitting down on the couch next to Liam. “Drink that.”

Liam took the bottle and laid it next to him as he ran his thumb around the edges of the chip. “6 months huh?”

Zayn nodded and his eyebrows scrunched together. “Why?”

Liam looked at Zayn with a confused look on his face. “Why what?”

“Why did you take drugs?”

“It’s part of that culture. The club culture is filled with drugs.”

“Just because everyone else does it doesn’t mean you need to do it too Liam.”

Liam sighed in frustration. “I don’t have any excuses for you Zayn…”

“Good because I’ve used them all before,” Zayn cut Liam off. “I may be a hypocrite reprimanding you for doing drugs when I’m the one who just got an NA chip but I’ve literally been where you’ve been Liam. I don’t want to see you go where I’ve gone. I care about you way too much to let you do that to yourself.”

Liam set the chip down on the table and grabbed Zayn’s face between his hands. “I don’t want to disappoint you. I don’t want to be the one who sends you into remission. I want to be dependable, and supportive, and understanding.”

Zayn smiled at Liam even though he could feel the tear running down his cheek and see Liam’s eyes reddening. Liam’s eyes scanned Zayn’s face.

“What was it like?” Liam asked.

“What was what like? Rehab?” Zayn asked, slightly surprised by Liam’s question.

“Yeah. I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I just want to know what you’ve been through so I can understand it and understand you more.”

Zayn pushed Liam’s water bottle into his hand and waited for Liam to take a drink. Then he pulled Liam to him so that Liam’s head was in his lap looking up at his face. Zayn ran his hands through Liam’s hair for a minute before opening his mouth to start talking but closed it again, unsure of where to begin.

“All those celebrity ‘rehab’ shows or news stories where celebrities went into rehab for 48 hours and then they’re magically better is bullshit. At 48 hours I was curled up in a ball on a white linoleum floor wishing for death.”

Liam looked up and frowned at Zayn.

“My mom was the one who ultimately made me go. I, of course, didn’t have a problem and I didn’t need to go to rehab. Not even 8 hours after I checked in I was already starting to feel the withdrawals,” Zayn scrunched his eyebrows together. “I was sitting on the twin size bed in my room with my back against the wall trying to figure out how I was going to spend God knew how long in the rehab place. I looked up at the window and the room started to spin. I tried to lie down but it got worse. For hours I tried to make the room stop spinning, to force myself not to throw up. Finally I gave in and threw up. It helped for a while but the nausea came back and it got to the point that they had to give me drugs to help me detox from the drugs.  


“I kept trying to rationalize it. They told me it was to help the withdrawals but it didn’t make sense to give someone with a drug problem more drugs. I tried to fight them on it, thinking it was a test. Things got worse and I started to sweat. I don’t mean a little exercise sweating, I mean waking up in the middle of the night soaking wet sweating. I was always shivering… first I was too hot, and then I was too cold. My life was spent fighting off imaginary things crawling on my skin, trying to keep the world from spinning, and then finally things started dying off. Little by little I realized that things were going away. The world wasn’t spinning anymore. The imaginary things crawling on my skin disappeared. My shivering stopped and I wasn’t soaking wet 24/7 anymore.”

Liam looked Zayn straight in the eyes and smiled. Zayn couldn’t help but smile back before starting in on the story.

“With all the withdrawals gone they decided it was time for the therapy sessions. They told me what I needed to do but they gave me a list of time options and told me it was my job to start taking control of my own life again. Life by a schedule. So… I sat in groups and listened to stories of other people’s journeys and struggles with addiction. I shared my journey up to that point. Then I sat in front of a therapist one-on-one and talked about why I started using drugs, why I thought I needed them, and trying to find that tipping point where I lost control and started to depend on drugs. We came up with a plan for me to be successful when I left and that’s when I met Niall.”

Liam smiled, “I like Niall.”

Zayn laughed. “Me too. Anyway, Niall and I talked with my therapist for a couple of sessions before I was released into the ‘real world’ again. I depended on Niall, always going to him because I was afraid that I was doing something wrong and that I should turn around and go right back into that rehab center. My mom set me up in this apartment and that’s when I met Harry and Louis. They were great,” Zayn smiled. “Of course Harry stuck his foot in his mouth the second he met me and Niall almost kicked his ass but that’s just Harry. That’s actually when I met you for the first time. I went shopping with Niall for food and we came through your check-out line. I applied for the job and got hired the same night.”

Liam looked down at his arm where the gauze was still covering the hole in his skin where the IV had been. He picked at the tape before pulling it off and folding them so they didn’t stick to anything. He frowned and put the balled up gauze on the table before rolling so he was facing Zayn’s stomach. 

“This has never happened before,” Liam began. “Yeah, I’ve taken ecstasy and yeah I’ve done other club drugs but I’ve never blacked out and ended up in the hospital.” Liam looked up at Zayn who was just staring down at Liam letting him talk. “It scared me to wake up and not know what happened. I remember staring up and seeing Sophia and then I remember being in the ambulance but the first thing that popped into my head was ‘Where’s Zayn?’”


End file.
